Circles and Spheres and Shapes, Oh My!

As promised in an earlier post, I’m discussing W. Oscar Thompson, Jr.’s Concentric Circles of Concern, copyrighted in 1981 by Broadman Press.  My use of the principles he introduced into my life in my youth are somewhat different here at Scripted Wellness; but the old ways still apply, and I honor them.  His basic premises, I will seek to summarize so you get the good stuff and hopefully stay with me for the rest of the ride as I extrapolate the application to the continued scribbling of your wellness script.

Thompson asserts that bad relationships produce dispute, divorce, distress, division, duress, war, and dissention on a local and global front.  Further, he attests that if we solve relationship problems, we eliminate humanity’s most perplexing difficulties as right relationships produce harmony, stability, honor, reciprocity, accord, mutual appreciation, respect, and understanding on an individual and collective, cohesive and holistic level.  He states that there are two essential relationships:  vertically with Source, Father, God; and horizontally with other people.  The intersection of these two essentials is where the Concentric Circles has its core.

The Circles are concentric, meaning they share the same center, the same core, the same starting point from which the others extend, like spheres of the Earth radiating from the magmatic center of earth, topsoil, flora and fauna, all the way to the atmosphere and into space.  He lists seven layers building out:  Self, Immediate Family, Relatives, Close Friends, Neighbors & Associates (Business, School, etc.), Acquaintances, Person X (General Population of People you have Yet to Meet).  You have levels of influence upon these people depending on your exposure, experiences, and expression with them.  You also have levels of concern for them, depending on some of the same things.  Finally, and especially for our purposes, you have levels of influence being enacted upon you by each of these levels – some far more in 2017 than in 1981 due to globalization, transportation, and technological changes – depending on exposure, experiences, and encounters with each of them.

As a counselor in human services, and marriage and family therapist especially, I find this very interesting socially – this shift in influence of these concentric circles.  I’m not so sure they’d be listed 1 – 7 in the same direction nowadays, at least not for every generation.  It might benefit you personally to individualize this and even insert/delete your own circles, maybe even including levels for email, text, instant messenger, bloggers, podcasters, television programs, documentaries, music videos, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, CNN, FoxNews, et cetera.  It’s a little scary how many influences we have tugging at our attention now, isn’t it? 

Truth is, we have not changed so much as a species; but our lifestyle has vastly changed, and our wellness is more taxed than ever partly because of that fact.  We have smartphones, smartwatches, smartcars, smarthomes…  Anyone else just discover their jaw tightening and pulse quickening?

We are building neural pathways all the time, which is great!  But all the Bluetooth, RF energy, and other exposures – more plastic than ever, and even BPA free is plastic, by the way – and far less time in the fresh air with other people whose faces are not flat. 

What is this doing to our relationships? 

If Thompson is correct, and the theories of disintegration of human connection due to our overuse of social media to the detriment of social skills are correct, our relationships are deteriorating and we might be asleep at the wheel, entertained all the way to Ground Zero.  Invest in your relationships, for the good of yourself, and for all of us.  Start with the vertical, and then reach out – grab lunch or coffee with a friend, your family, someone.  Call (no, don’t text) someone and have a conversation longer than three minutes – I dare you!

Unplug.  You do not need to know everything that is on the internet.  Really.  At the very least, give yourself a thirty-minute break before sleep – try it for seven days and see if you don’t rest better.

One last thing:  ask for what you need.  Those close to that inner circle are there because they care about you.  Ask them to help you on your wellness journey.  Ask them to go for a walk together – no phones allowed, or at least turn off the ringer.  Ask them to share a meal together without a television or other media.  Ask to enjoy a game night and play Twister or some other fun, physical game once in a while.  

Play.  

Laugh.  

Savor.  

None of us is here forever; and one day you will be glad your circle at least has memories where the members used to be.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

#youaresoveryworthy