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"Nick is an alligator!"
It was common to hear dear Nicholas called an alligator, a pickle, a monster, and all sorts of silly things; and then he was "called Home." It hurts to put it into words, but words are what I do, a gift with an admonition to employ it. Nick was born 22 April, 1993 and died on 28 October, 2020; but he lives on in innumerable ways.
Nick gave levity and liveliness to every space he encountered; and to be with him was to accompany a celebrity. Everywhere he went, someone seemed to know him and show their fan-ship; anyone next to him at the time was invisible as this vibrant young man sparkled. Even when he couldn't recount to us just where the person knew him from (which was often), he was charming and kind as they called him by name - every time.
Nick's smile and laughter were contagious, infecting his sphere with inescapable giggles "on the regular." He loved friends and family of all ages, and even a few select animals. His gentle spirit and beguiling demeanor made him a magnet for all manner of folks; and when he ciphered your "tickle spots," watch out!
Nick didn't have an easy go while he was here - from the start, his body underwent attacks from an un-seeable enemy who strove to squash Nick's indomitable spirit of resilient ebullience despite his pain. Resolute to please and never be burdensome, Nick defied the cruelty inflicted upon him from the devil who stood to lose so much when others witnessed Nick's supernatural strength. Nick overcame - time and time again - obstacles I cannot adequately address here. Nick didn't have it easy; but he wasn't hard on others.
Nick's life verse, according to his loving parents, Dori and Greg Howard, was 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." I watched them live this out together through many family and friend life events - ones that would have crushed any lesser folks. It occurred to me yesterday, as I looked that verse up once again, that the fulfillment is just a few verses down, "And now He [God] has made all of this plain to us by the appearing of Christ Jesus, our Savior. He broke the power of death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the Good News." Nick was in the valley of the shadow of death many times in his twenty-seven years; but God was faithful to see him through. Nick shines as a miraculous picture of the persistent ways God fights for us all, even when all seems lost. Nick lives on in the place Jesus went to prepare for him, a place we can all be with faith and allegiance to God in Christ. Nick also lives forever in each heart that loved and was loved by him.
Nick's body was small here on earth, but his reach was large (and now I'm reminded of the many times his actual, physical reach was something of legend - back to the tickle spots). Even after he has finished with his use of the earth-suit he inhabited, Nick's reach will extend to unknowable people and places; as he became an organ donor. The admirable and unspeakable selflessness of this final bodily act is a testament to all the ways Nick touched lives in his brief life here.
Note: even now, the devil is desperate to quiet the testimony of Nicholas Frazee. Just as I completed the previous paragraph, my computer had an unexplained and inescapable emergency re-start. If Nick can take a punch and keep on pounding, I can too.
Nick was blessed with a spirited, resourceful, faith-filled Mom; and Nick was reared by a determined, gentle giant of a Daddy. His elder brother, Steven and loving sister-in-law, Kim have been caregivers and coconspirators as they have grown as a family. Nick is also loved by uncles and aunts, his grandparents and great grandparents, and this adoptive-auntie as well (notice the present-tense; we have not lost him - I know exactly where he is). Nick was blessed with faith - he loves Jesus, and I bet by now Jesus has revealed his tickle spots and given Nick a new Nick-Name.
Jotting with Johnna:
- Has your life included someone like Nick - someone whose steadfast and stubborn spirit defied the odds and indubitably confounded the devil?
- What is the legacy of this person in your life now - how are you different because of your interaction with your own Nick (and yes, I think Saint Nick is a moniker made for mine)?
- How can you be a Nick to others?
Remember: you are so very worthy to recall with both smiles and sorrow any and all whose lives intersected your own and left their mark...and left you here with memories and a thirst for more of them. There's no wrong way to grieve and to honor Nick (mine and yours), so long as you do no harm to yourself or others. I hope you learn to find joy even as you mourn - Nick would certainly help you do just that.
In reverent memoriam of my beloved Nicholas.
Stay tuned. Stay focused. Stay well.
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