Evaluating Value

My family is participating in a neighborhood garage sale.  I'm thrilled!  We had garage sales at both homes prior to moving into our current home last year; but we have plenty to send on its merry way now that the remains of those homes are blending.  It has me thinking of the transient nature of value as we align ourselves with our core values.

I've held in my hands many things that once felt like treasures; but now I must decide whether or not they're "worth their keep."  Often the value of free space displaces any value an item might have.  If it's not contributing to the surroundings in some way or is otherwise not put into operation in a way that adds value, I must consider if the object is actually detracting from life like a slow drip.

Jotting with Johnna

• What do you value highly in your life despite any arbitrary-monetary measure of value?
• How do you apply your personal-philosophical values when evaluating items in your home?
• Do you notice some things become practically worthless while others become priceless to you?
• Why do you think this might be relevant to the concept of writing your Wellness Script?
• Have you collected items, activities, or connections which now cost you more than they are worth? 

Remember:  your value is found in your spiritual identity, not in things, accomplishments, or any other measure of worth.  If something is taking up too much room in your mind and heart, appraisal may be in order.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Worlds Collide

The 118th episode of Seinfeld includes a theory of social "worlds" colliding and the imminent demise of "a George divided against itself."  This concept references three-dimensional, parallel-universe concepts and the idea that they must be kept separated or face mutual peril.  If you want to geek-out a little, this article is a good start.  Season 7, Episode 8 is certainly memorable; but sometimes worlds coalesce rather than crash when they collide.  Last night, as it has before, my life demonstrated that.

A fellow Veteran contacted me the other day.  We served together, and have always had great rapport.  She asked me to join her at the home of mutual friends, my neighbors three homes down the road from my abode, to even up the number of a recurring gathering from her church.  The game was pitch (otherwise known as setback or high-low-jack) and the food was Tex-Mex.  I made a spicy bean dip and made my way down the street, made the $1.00 ante...and in the end, I made $3.00 for making "Low Girl," otherwise known as last place.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that really happened.  So much for "beginner's luck."

The group was lovely and the interaction lively, beginning with a time of prayer requests and intercession.  Many faces in this gathering were familiar; glimpses into my childhood as a 4-H member, my young adulthood as a full time cosmetologist, my time in the military, and my new life as a widow and member of the garden home community in which I reside - all a testament of growth from roots to shoots.  Rather than uncomfortable entanglement, this felt like an embrace folding the little girl I was with the woman I've become as one might fold a patchwork quilt.

Romans 12, especially verse 18, comes to mind as I consider how it could be that so many archetypal aspects of my life could flow with such felicity and faculty.  During my US Air Force Technical School graduation, TSgt Hinton (my instructor) quoted 1 Thessalonians 4, admonishing us to

"...make it your ambition to live quietly and peacefully, and to mind your own affairs and work with your hands, just as we directed you, so that you will behave properly toward outsiders [exhibiting good character, personal integrity, and moral courage worthy of the respect of the outside world], and be dependent on no one and in need of nothing [be self-supporting]."  AMP

In times like last night's gathering, I see the harvest of this principle in living color.  The reason the patchwork of my past and my path was so seamless and ease-filled is the quiet, peaceful, conscientious, diligent, and honorable behavioral principles that mark my days.  It's not anything about me that makes this so - it is Christ in me, the influence of wise adults with compassion and integrity demonstrated in front of me during childhood, and the general ordering of my steps as a believer. 

Jotting with Johnna

• What would happen if your worlds collided?
• Are you fearful of people who know you from different spheres being in the same place?
• How might a life infused with integrity alter the reality of this situation?
• Why not apply Micah 6:8 to your life today...to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God?
• Do you think your social, spiritual, psychological, and even physiological life might improve?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of a fresh start, that's grace - God's unmerited favor lavished on us freely.  Your past and your path needn't resemble one another.  Isaiah 43:18-21 holds precious hope as God makes new things happen.  Jeremiah 29:11-14 points us toward seeking God wholeheartedly and states that God has plans - good plans - for His followers.  Finally, Matthew 6:25-34 offers us freedom from worry and liberates us to peace as we move forward.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

What are You Wearing?

My mother used to make cakes similar to the one above for my (blonde & taller) younger sister and myself for our birthdays.  Talk about a Happy Meal - it's a full sized doll with your favorite cake wrapped around it!  Those were good times.  Now that I'm decades into adulthood, the notion of the cake that wrapped itself around my thighs is not nearly as sweet.  Good ole days indeed.

This morning, I was drawn to Colossians 3:1-17 in my handy YouVersion Bible App.  We aren't called to be clothed in birthday cake (sadly), but we are called to take off and put on other things now that we're walking as spiritually whole and healthy folks.  It begins at the top of our head - with what we set our minds upon and what we seek, our focus.  Then we are to starve out selfish, rebellious, harmful desires because those longings keep the fellowship of the Spirit at a distance, diminishing our life and all the blessings attached.  We are to guard not only what we consume, but also what we commit - our words, our attitudes, our honesty.  It's a stripping off the old rags, the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3), and anything that's in the way (Hebrews 12:1-3) so the garment of praise, the new self, the prince/princess attire as coheirs of the King can be rightly fitted and display the new creatures we are.  

As the Kyle Matthews song says, 

"you don't wear your old shoes on your brand new feet."

No, toss those nasty coverings to the side.  

They're not worthy of the King's children.  He has something better for you to don.

"...put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper]; bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive. Beyond all these things put on and wrap yourselves in [unselfish] love, which is the perfect bond of unity [for everything is bound together in agreement when each one seeks the best for others]. Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always]. Let the [spoken] word of Christ have its home within you [dwelling in your heart and mind—permeating every aspect of your being] as you teach [spiritual things] and admonish and train one another with all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus [and in dependence on Him], giving thanks to God the Father through Him." 

(beginning middle of verse 12 through 17 of Colossians 3 as referenced above, AMP)

Jotting with Johnna

• What are you wearing on your mind, soul, spirit, inner and outward appearance?
• What items do you need to replace to sport a suitable spiritual and behavioral attire?
• How might a full strip-down and suit-up from the foundation "garments" help the rest of your identity in Christ "fit better?"
• How might this practice of clothing yourself prepare you for the addition of the armor of God?

Remember:  you are so very worthy to doff those old, smelly yearnings and habits because your adoption is sealed and paid for by the Prince of Peace Himself.  Royal robes of sonship and daughtership await you; and it's no dress rehearsal.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Fencing

I live in a community of privacy fences, constructed of stone and cedar.  As someone who grew up in a very rural area with nobody in "shouting distance" but cattle and coyotes, the relative seclusion these border-walls provide has its appeal.  Mending Wall, a poem by Robert Frost, cleverly addresses the nuances of these constructions, both their causes and their curses, beginning with the continual maintenance every spring.

The book linked above, Boundaries, and its many strategic applications, is a fence-building manual of sorts that makes us better neighbors to others and to ourselves.  The cover of the book, even in its simplicity, is convicting to me.  The line is drawn with a pencil in that image...and I wish my own boundaries weren't so easily swept to the side.  Even in ink, though, I can imagine the metaphor of water-soaked smearing and smudging.  This has been a struggle for me my whole life, attempts to set healthy boundaries thwarted by my eagerness to avoid conflict and bring relief to others.

It's not something I'm elated about sharing, frankly.  I know the value of honest and honorable boundary setting.  I wrote many papers in my graduate studies about this relational form of fencing, only to realize the paper on which the writing was printed was probably better enforced than my actual boundaries.

It always feels more like fencing and fending off wounds to my heart, swords coming at me until I surrender because I don't want to hold my ground at anyone's expense.  As a War Veteran, it is that much more ironic than it already seemed, and why I know I need to master this, to soldier on even if it means being afraid.

Jotting with Johnna

• What frightens you in relationship with others?
• How does that impact your behaviors?
• What can you do today to rise above fear?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of taking up space in the world - both your world and the world of your social relationships.  It's courageous work, it's consistent work, and it's crucial work if you truly hope to be fully well.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Sweet Relief

The above image is from the Tulsa Women Veteran Retreat last year.  It was like a spiritual homecoming and military-family reunion.  It was sweet relief for those of us gathered that day.  There is a similar sweet relief in the home stretch of a long day, or that sense of nearly-home after travels, even the simple bliss of clean sheets and good pillows...

How might it be when we really get Home, with the spiritual-family we have in Christ since before we were born?  When those who march to Heaven's drum are finally assembled to cadence in the place our souls yearn to go, it will be joy unmatched; and the retreat will never end.

Jotting with Johnna

• Are you weary from the battles you've faced?
• Do you know the way Home?
• How do you find sweetness in your everyday?
• What might it look like for your overall wellness if you intentionally built some kind of sweet relief into your routines?
• List ten things that bring you relief, joy, calm, heart-fullness and visit that list when you need "something" to relieve your mind, refresh your body, restore your soul, or replenish your spirit.

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the forethought it would take to arrange for yourself times of retreat; and it might just keep you from resorting to unhelpful options.  Try it.  Psalm 23 tells us that the Lord, in His goodness, causes us to lie down in green pastures, leads us to still waters...He is a God who brings rest, sweetness, and retreat.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well. 

Revived

It's well into the afternoon of Easter Sunday.  Wind-chimes echoing praise outside my office window, the sunshine and springtime have me feeling hopeful.  I woke with the notion of resurrection power in my mind, of the liberating, empowering presence of the Holy Spirit residing and renewing me and every believer.  As you can guess, I was compelled to dig further.

As one who trusts in Jesus, knowing the Word and the wonder of His life on earth, His incomparable sacrifice for our freedom, and His overcoming death and Hell to win for us salvation, healing, and peace, I am in awe.  I'm redeemed and ransomed by Jesus.  I'm restored to hope and wholeness in every way.  When God breathes life into one which was lost, He doesn't limit, but rather lavishes His power over, throughout, and into every atom, cell, area...  He didn't leave Heaven and clothe Himself in flesh and face all He knew was necessary to give us a "pass," but to show us how green every pasture can be when He is our Shepherd. 

God pours His power into our souls, yes; but also our spirits, our minds, our bodies, our relationships...  We become infused and replete with life and love and limitless potential.  We are alive, we are accepted, and we must necessarily be amazed by grace. 

One definition of resurrection is "a rising again, from decay, disuse; revival." 
Revival is restoration to life, consciousness, vigor, strength; restoration to use, acceptance, or currency; an awakening.  

Ezekiel 37 talks of dry bones being brought to life, complete with sinew and skin, and finally, breath.  God tells the prophet to speak to the bones, dried and withered, "dry bones, hear the word of the Lord."  Have you ever felt dried up inside?  God knows you have.

Isaiah 58, calling God's people to repentance and promise, gives the very vivid picture of resurrection power, of revival.  If we personalize the message, as I was called to do this morning, we who believe can walk in these same confidences:

• I am continually guided by God when I pay attention to Him and walk in His way.
• God satisfies my soul in any and every scorched, dry place.
• God gives strength to my bones - and we just read what can happen with even dried bones yielded to Him by His word.
• I am like a well-watered garden. like a spring of water whose resource is without end.
• I am a re-builder, repairer, restorer in God's power.

Jotting with Johnna

• What areas of your life seem particularly "dry?" 
• Do you need to yield to the word of the Lord and be revived? 
• How might your physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, social, and other aspects of life be like a well-watered garden as you allow God to revive you?
• When would there be any better time than this moment to live a life resurrected?
• Why not trust Him?

Remember:  even dry bones can rise!  You are not too far gone, not to washed up, not beyond the resurrection power of God!

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Happy Easter!

 

Momentum

I like playing nine-ball.  It's a more interesting game on the table, in my opinion, and I played it with my late husband before his illness.  I have my own custom cue stick - a birthday gift years ago, and fond memories.  Pool is about angles and momentum (simplifying); and especially with nine-ball, it's about considering where to use those concepts to strategically place the cue ball with each shot to line up the next shot in a way that will be beneficial.

Once the cue ball is struck, the energy from the cue stick puts it into motion toward an object ball.  There is no turning back from the direction of the shot once things get rolling.  A chain of events begins in a moment.

I was thinking of the words "momentum," "momentary," and "momentous" this morning.  I found the definitions both confirmed and surprised me when I found them - our language is fascinating that way. 

Momentum is force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object (like our cue ball and those it impacts) or course of events.  The math/science geek in me also thinks of the product of mass times velocity; but our purpose here actually doesn't require any scrap paper - don't worry. 

Momentary has a variety of definitions:

1. lasting but a moment, fleeting
2. might occur at any moment; ever impending
3. effective or recurring at any moment; constant

Momentous denotes something that has a pivotal influence, of great importance.

A wordsmith my whole life, always enamored with the lexicon and its roots, I was actually humbled to discover the second and third definitions for "momentary."  It carried a thought of transience in my mind; but it can mean a status that's constant or imminent too.  The choices we make in any moment often generate momentum - and it can be momentous in our lives.  In one shot of a nine-ball game, the very first can be the final stroke, and I've experienced it, as the nine ball somehow lands in a pocket, winning me that game.  On the other hand, the cue ball can go reeling into a pocket as well, turning the advantage to one's opponent.  I've been "there" too.

Every choice has potential momentum.  Not choosing is also a choice, by the way.
Decisions, whether active and intentional or passive and unwitting, take these forms:

• Capitalizing:  seizure of advantage, electing to exploit the opportunity
• Capitulating:  surrender, abdication of one's ability, authority, or autonomy

Joshua 14:15 is a call for decision, "...choose you this day whom you will serve...as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."  It is the most momentous decision posed to humankind, and it is a momentary (as in constant, consistent, and - as life is brief, fleeting) opportunity for us all.  Either choice - capitalizing on the precious gift of Christ, the very reason for Easter - or capitulating to selfishness, rebellion, and ultimate spiritual death - has eternal momentum.

Take advantage of this moment.

Commit to the shot and move forward in relationship with Jesus.

"For whoever calls on the name of the LORD [in prayer] will be saved."  Romans 10:13

For more information, see the larger context in Romans 10:8-13  and, as verse 11 restates the promises of Isaiah 28:16 and Jeremiah 17:7, you won't be disappointed when you choose to follow the LORD.  

Jotting with Johnna

• What decision do you need to make in this moment, during this Easter weekend?
• Has the momentum of the culture caused you to roll away from your object?
• Why not trust the Master with the momentary and the momentous remains of your life?

Remember:  you are responsible for your response, and the shot is lined up for you.  If you think this message would help encourage someone, please share the link with them.  For more positive posts every week, subscribe or follow.  I won't capitulate your information, nor will I ever try and capitalize by sending you spam.  I promise.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Good

Today is Good Friday, Easter weekend.  I used to wonder how on earth we call the day of such suffering for our sake "good."  In Genesis, as God created everything, He declared each thing "good," and mankind "very good."  And just pages away, we humans made things go very badly...requiring the sacrifices Christ made on our behalf.  We soiled things, and the only way to clean it up (to make it good again) was the unsoiled, undefiled, unparalleled blood of Jesus covering our filth and converting us by faith - good thing for us.  Good Friday, indeed.

There was no other answer, no Lysol - only Love's soul - could penetrate the stains of our rebellion.

God's great mercy washed over our woeful, menacing sin debt.  We could never pay what we owe, but the only One who has stood in our skin stood in our place after living thirty-three years of spotless obedience...He could.  Good Friday is not the end of the story; but it's the reason we celebrate Christmas.  If Christ had not given His life for us, it would have done no real good for Him to come incarnate at all.  Who could argue that Christmas isn't good?  One (festively decorated) tree without the other (the one from which the cross was crafted to crucify the Carpenter) would be useless; and we would be hopeless.

Easter is Sunday, and it's an opportunity many take to pursue the peace for which Christ came, lived, died...and rose again to bring.  Don't fret over hidden eggs when you have the revealed Truth.

Jotting with Johnna

• What good have you witnessed in your life despite dark days like that Friday so long ago?
• How might you see every day in a different light, now that we are living in the shadow of the Cross?
• Have you found for yourself the peace Jesus brings?
• With whom might you discuss this?
• When can you make time this weekend to celebrate the wonder of Easter?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the love Jesus gives, not because of your own merit or anything you have done to earn it, but because He gives it freely and unconditionally to all who trust in Him.  Turn from defiance toward His deliverance.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

 

Highs and Lows

Image Credits | Creator:Daniel Grill, Getty Images/Tetra images RF

Fear is a primitive mechanism that can keep us safe; but it's also a menace that keeps us stuck if we allow it.  Gut feelings are often accurate, but sometimes "gutting it out" is necessary to overcome obstacles and escape our previous parameters.  It's a dichotomy of sorts, but it's applicable in many arenas of life. 

If we never faced fear, humans would have failed to survive this long, afraid to risk rejection or worse.  If we boldly raced into scary scenarios without any discretion, we would have put ourselves in precarious positions that would certainly have deadly consequences.  Wisdom, experience, and awareness must come into play.

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, one of my favorite humans has tackled his self-protective (and understandable) fear of box jumps.  Today, he hit a new personal best - twenty inches in height.  As humans, there are risks with leaving earth's gravity to leap onto a higher place with both feet - and to be "all in" with both feet in the context of any venture generates a physiological response and a psychological one as well.  That's one reason tears often come when we get to the other side of fear with success.  It's a high that's earned. 

Confession:  I'd probably wanna wear some kind of 

protective gear to mitigate risk of injury, 

like these...

...but such gear would feed fear and starve me of the freedom of movement...

The human experience includes fear of high places and low places alike.  I'm a very optimistic person, and that's always been the case for me, even in the direst circumstance.  I'm grateful for that part of my wiring, even as I recall a wise counselor point out that I'm lousy at staying low.  Fear has kept me from embracing and expressing the entirety of my emotional experience; and that fear has permitted some unhelpful patterns within myself and in relationship.  Fear of conflict, fear of letting others down, fear I won't be enough for some situations/people, and fear I'm too much for others...

When I step over that fear threshold, it's not comfortable...but on the other side is victory, liberation, and joy.  It's a high point, regardless of the circumstance.  When I lose fear, I win.

Jotting with Johnna

• Are you facing a precipice at which you must decide faith or fear?
• How can you muster the strength to defy the gravity of fear?
• What might happen when you cross the threshold?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the decision to demolish fear, even as you care for your heart.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well. 

Rhythm & Rules

Signs like the one above indicate to us whether or not an establishment is "open."  Unlike the 24-hour merchants popular today (brick and mortar, online, and others), there has always been a rhythm to the way businesses operated.  It's because our lives are rhythmic in nature.  As you see these letters, you are breathing in and out, your heart is pulling and pushing blood to keep you functioning, etc.  We thrive within the context of rhythm. 

Creativity and spontaneity are also aspects of a life well ordered, and they offer spice to the mundane.  Most music is rhythmic, but the songs I am listening to outside my window as the wind plays the wind-chimes is wild and free - and it's still a form of music.  Part of Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 was set to music in the last century, and the songwriter's tempo reminds me of swinging back and forth on a porch swing or in a rocking chair. 

Moon phases, sunrise/sunset, birth/death, gathering/purging, collect/spend, work/rest, celebration/grief...our eternal souls in earthen vessels take on the pattern - the rhythm of this linear life we know.  Our bodies need strengthening and stretching, fasts and feasts, sleep and wakefulness.  We measure time in weeks and months and years...and the Creator knew it would be best for us to have the concept of time, the constancy of orbit and rotation, the assurance that the beat to which we march through this life would continue to behave.

A hurried pace makes many of us harried people.

That tempo wears out our gears in all facets of our inner and outer worlds...

Could you put some "speed bumps" in place to ensure a more humane pace?

When we are "open," we may have scheduled duties or a variety of tasks that present themselves at seemingly random intervals.  To be "open" is to be ready to conduct the business of life.  To be "closed" is a time of readying, perhaps.

Jotting with Johnna

• Whatever season of life you find yourself in today, are you open to interruption?  

• to adaptation?

• to detours?

• Do you prefer more routine rhythm, or are you stimulated by unpredictable flow?
• How might rhythm, and revising the beat to which you step, amend your journey?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of working out a pace and pattern that serves your greatest good.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Rains & Reigns

I am a warrior, and that's true however one seeks to define it.  I have been to war on foreign soil, covered in gear and grit, two rotations, maintaining machines built for the purpose (F-16's).  I have fought for others, and I'm learning to fight for myself, to liberate those captive to destructive patterns of action, thought, word, and relationship.  I am passionate and fierce when the situation calls for such, quiet and gentle as well.  I was born for this; and God has seen me through every battle of my life.  When the rains fall and the storms ravage my spirit, threatening to rip me apart, the God who sees me reigns over it all, filtering every flash of lightning through His loving fingers, holding back the unthinkable...even when it feels like the unimaginable is happening...

A popular form of fitness training in recent years has included warrior-inspired movements and mechanisms, like the battle rope.  Whenever anyone uses them in my gym, I envision a strong chariot rider, clad in battle gear, urging the stallion to race into the fray - fierce indeed.  In reality, the ropes reign over nothing but the anchor holding the other end steady - and honestly, the anchor is in a reigning position of sorts. 

Another primitive provision more are using in the gym is the box or platform on which to do box jumps.  I've not attempted the taller version, but have had to do box jumps while a physical therapist or other authority reigned over me - never voluntarily...because I've allowed fear to reign in the moments I've faced the task. 

When I was eight years old, I fell on my face in a doorway at school during lunch recess (because I wanted my pen and paper - can't make that up, and it certainly fits my creative profile), and the fall broke my right front tooth in half.  The pain was intense and unrelenting; but that was nothing compared to the pain of ridicule and bullying the crown brought into my life.  From eight to sixteen years of age, I had a temporary crown - yeah, the kind that is only supposed to be worn a week or two until the "permanent" crown is made.  The dentist apparently didn't tell my mother that's how it worked...and the temp-crown on that right front tooth discolored, shifted, because it was never meant for the purpose of permanence.  It was in a place of prominence, exposed to shaming and accusation even though I was made to brush it with everything from lye soap to household bleach in an attempt to remedy the discoloration (and it never worked - only made it more porous).

At sixteen, I got a "permanent" crown, and I'd looked forward to that for eight long and tormented years...and the replacement for the small, discolored, now-crooked right front temporary crown was worse - yes, really.  When the film, Dennis the Menace came out in 1993, a couple years after my high school graduation, I felt some validation for my pain...(just watch.)  The permanent crown I got was longer, wider, and whiter than my natural teeth - actually, it was glow-in-the-dark white - and the kid who was constantly covering her face in shame, the girl who didn't smile in pictures, tried to laugh with her mouth shut, ate with her hand over her mouth...felt even more conspicuous. 

Twenty-five years after the original injury to my right front tooth, I began seeing a dentist in town because the one I'd been using retired.  The retiring dentist had never offered to remedy my situation, and by then, I'd resigned myself to the fate of my face.  At thirty-three years of age, at the time in my life I was deploying to Balad Air Base / LSA Anaconda in Iraq the first time, I got my smile repaired.  I wept as the dentist showed me the results of his craft.  I went from the girl with the broken smile to a woman who suddenly smiled, laughed out loud, posed with family for pictures, radiated joy in my countenance.  The Maroon 5 song was playing on the speakers as I looked into that hand mirror, seeing myself for the first time, a wounded eight-year-old who grew to be a warrior.

It's profound what the freedom to face the world with my chin up has meant.  Now it's been a decade of smiles...and tears...and rain...and reigning over my fear. 

Jotting with Johnna

• What holds you back from being freely fierce in your life?  
• What parts of you could use repair - your spirit, body, mind, soul..?
• What if the things you resigned yourself to, the things you have allowed to reign, could be washed away like a good rain cleanses the land?
• What can you do today to engage a battle as a freedom fighter and detach from the stories keeping you in shame shackles?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of joy, laughter, and levity in this life, even when you mourn.  Release the ropes, step down off the jump platform, breathe a minute and decide what you will do.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Sticks and Stones

Some things in life are heavy.  The stones I moved yesterday from one flowerbed to another are a few of those somethings.  Lifting (properly and cautiously) heavy things can be good for us.  Lifting isn't usually the difficult part when moving heavy things - it's the carrying of them without dropping them.  The sticks I gathered from the yard while working to recover the gardens and lawn from winter & weeds weren't heavy...until they filled the bag I was using to collect them.  Lifting too many less-heavy somethings, and especially carrying them, requires effort, commitment, and endurance.

We all carry things - whether they're in our hands, our heads, our hearts, or on our hips - we know what it is to "tote around" things we have, at some point, "picked up" in our journey.  Walking through life with too much "baggage" can weigh us down so much we are unable to keep our grip.  Things then get dropped/broken...or they break us (injury, illness, etc.).

Jotting with Johnna

• What are you carrying that you might be better off releasing?
• Inventory the things you think of most often, worry about, or otherwise spend mental energy maintaining in your life.  Which stone (heavy) or stick (less-heavy but accumulated) somethings could you let go (or at least loosen your grip on) in order to create space, explore, or embrace?
• What have you dropped or damaged in carrying - how might you repair/restore and release it?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the thought it takes to ensure the sticks and stones you are currently carrying are truly essential or important - or to recognize what is harming you as you harness it onto yourself again and again.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Waiting is Weighty

Image accessed at this link.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick...  Proverbs 13:12 states it well.  I really like my postman, and he's very friendly toward me as well.  It's nice, and it's been that way for years.  He's a kindly and humble man with a witty sense of humor and great affection for his wife, great appreciation for his life.  Many of my friends are retired postal carriers; and it's tough work, an endless task that has faced much evolution in just the last century.  I'm thankful for each postal worker and their willingness to contend with the elements, allergies, pets and pests...  I'd rather go back for another tour in Iraq (and two combat rotations there is plenty for anyone) than do the job these folks do.  

I've been very interested in the mail for several months now, awaiting a letter years in the making...and each day I check that box, hoping it's finally been sent to me.  No, it's not a sweepstakes winning letter - I don't participate, but apparently I "may have already won" some exciting prizes, so who knows.  It's a letter that is intensely personal, and it promises a bit of emotional closure once it is delivered, which won't be today, since my postman just left.

Waiting can be anticipation of something hoped for, it can be having faith in someone, it can also be something postponed.  It occurs to me, as I await this letter, that I've delayed the reality of my experiences the acknowledgment, understanding, and resolution...and I've been accumulating weight in the wait.  

In just the last few days, some emotionally tough things have been emerging, urging me to engage my awareness in not-subtle ways.  In our physiology as humans, toxins are stored in fat cells, especially when our natural mechanisms of toxin elimination are overwhelmed (which can happen with chronic stress and other situations).  Now that I know the letter that offers validation of some of the things I lived through but failed to process at the time is said to be a certainty, I've had changes in my skin, my internal [ahem] functions, and my emotional expression.  I realized that the accumulation of this weight began last summer with no obvious reason (at first glance).  It occurred to me just this morning that the most recent push for this particular letter began at the same time...and now that closure is said to come, my body is processing the pain, the heartache, the disappointment, and even the grief and anger it held onto in the meantime.

Jotting with Johnna
Have you noticed patterns, reflecting over your life, when you had a somatic (physiological) manifestation of an emotional problem?  Have you been heartsick as hope was deferred in your life, and what did that "look like?"  How might you better lean into (rather than delay or deny) the full reality of your experience and let the Healer carry the weight of it with you?  Jesus calls us to cast our cares on Him - how might that take shape in your situation?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the psychological space, the prayer support, and the peaceful surrender of your burdens to God.  It means opening up places in your heart that are painful, scary, even tearful...but it lets healing happen when you trust Him with it all.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.   

Wrapping Traps

Image from Vegetarian Times, 9 May, 2017

Whatever else is going on in your life, the delivery system matters; this is quite true of metabolism.  The contents of the "wrap" including our culinary exploits, endeavors in activity, or even hydration matter; but the environment, emotions, engagement of senses, thoughts, attentiveness, judgments, and pleasure we have in the food, fitness, and fluids matter just as much.

This wrap is a favorite of a friend of mine, who keeps them in her vehicle (she gets a lot of windshield time) and calls them her "car tortillas."  She brings them into various establishments and uses them in a number of ways including a hamburger-style creation that is pure genius.  But wraps aren't really the point here - they're just a physical representation for the nuances around our relationship with nourishment that get overlooked.

There is a neurological response at the very thought of a lemon slice.  Without even being present with the lemon slice or even seeing it, if you just think for a second about placing a slice of lemon on your tongue, physiological things take place.  You salivate and certain muscles may even move in involuntary revulsion at the tart taste of lemon in your memory.  You may think of a loved one giving you sugared lemon as a child (my grandmother did with me anyway).  Your sinuses even prepare for the very unique aroma that is lemon, don't they?

If you approach any experience with self-condemnation, guilt, or shame, your body releases hormones in response to your signals.  "Should" is a spice that is best used sparingly at the table.  Ambiance matters - is the television blaring?  If you're dining out, there's a high chance of that.  Is your tablet or phone or other device on the table like a guest of honor?  Anywhere you are - home or otherwise - with a few obvious exceptions, dining is a great time for airplane mode.

With whom you partake of food, and your encounter with them at the table, impacts your digestion before you ever take a bite.  It takes little effort to sit up, breathe, look at others, smile, and settle yourself into the experience; but - believe it or not - you'll be setting yourself up for better nutrition as you ensure you are nourished in the companionship.  Notice the colors, the music, the aromas - if you're home, how can you add beauty to your experience?  It will pay good dividends to those who invest the time and effort.

Jotting with Johnna

• What have you been wrapping your culinary life in lately?
• How might you curate or begin to cultivate an experience that supports your wellness?
• Where will you start?

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Vice Vice, Baby

So, now that you have a tune stuck in your head (forgive me, but it was irresistible), let me explain why I am writing on vice, and referencing - in a roundabout way - a voice.   The reason is personal, but it's also, I suspect, relevant to more than just one person.  When I find myself participating in my vice (inappropriate behavior with food that involves secrecy, shame, and self-loathing), I find there's a connection to my voice...

By voice, I don't necessarily mean an audible expression.  The use of this term is best more broadly applied to any self-expression - in particular the stifling of it.  Sometimes, I think, when we are "stuffing down feelings," maybe we are instead binding and gagging our heart from expressing a deep personal and painful - maybe even embarrassing - truth.  This truth may be our own or that of someone else, which only further complicates and cements the barrier like a beaver building a dam...

Whatever your vice (vehicle of self destruction, hiding, or otherwise silencing yourself), I would be willing to wager you'll see a similar critter building barriers with the fallout.  That metaphorical beaver building his dam, clogging the flow of something craving expression or expulsion from your life started for you some day before this one.  Your behavior beaver, your vice, your personal poison showed up as a helpful mechanism who was building that dam to protect your tender heart or someone else the best he could.  Now, however, he's gone rabid; and it's time to find that little guy a new home far, far away, humanely, of course - we're a family show here, folks.

Thing is, with this particular issue, the throat is the conduit, the stream, the airway, and a portal through which that one-of-a-kind voice of yours yearns to flow.  Back when your beaver started his work as a cuddly, protective helper, you were doing the only thing that made sense or was made available at the time.  Your throat holds your voice box, your thyroid, your spinal cord...when the throat is denied flow completely in some way, tragically, loss of function or even loss of life is the result.

I know this is heavy.  That's why it's important.  

If it helps, take a break, Stop, Collaborate, and Listen and then come back.  

I'll wait right here with animal control.

You know your vice well, I imagine; it's the behavior, relationship, substance, or other pattern that, if you're able to see it, you find yourself partaking in when it's too risky, scary, or painful to express yourself with your voice.  The vice is usually visible to you and often to others; but the voice gets hushed so often we sometimes lose it somewhere.  Suddenly, a Disney movie comes to mind, and I realize that we often forfeit our voice for something that appears more valuable at the time - often to our own peril (unexpected or otherwise), and the fallout impacts all those within "screaming distance."  Ariel and Ursula have a more obvious and graphic exchange - the beaver is more subtle; but the King want the best for His children (oh, yeah, and Ariel's dad too)...

You were never meant to be fodder for patterns of behavior that grew out of control.  Sure, your vice may seem larger than life and quite powerful in the dark of your hiding place, behind layers of shame and under shattered leftovers of previous dams you successfully destroyed only to have the little varmint build bigger ones in its place...but your beaver, your Ursula, your Vice-Vice, Baby (forgive me, but I needed levity) is merely a pest awaiting the Light of the King to eradicate.

A common quote in various recovery venues is attributed to Stephen King:  

We are only as sick as our secrets.  

Here's a new one:  Beavers are cute, but as vice, they are vicious.

Admittedly, it's less catchy.  Fair enough.

This is my lengthiest ScriptedWellness post, I think, this year; but maybe it's because I needed it.  My voice needs to be set free - not given away in surrender nor stifled/stuffed down.  This vehicle of my voice is one I hope helps set others free with the power of truth and the power of the Truth (John 14:6).  The Voice of Truth is the Word of God; and knowing Him through His Truth and relationship with Jesus will set every captive free (John 8:31-32).  As you find your voice, please choose to listen to and believe in The Voice of Truth.

Jotting with Johnna

• What has held you back and drawn you into unhelpful patterns of behavior (your vice)?
• What do you need to declare, journal about, perhaps seek professional counsel over, sing, shout, discuss with a pastor or trusted friend (find your voice)?
• Has this been helpful to you; and if so, what discoveries or thoughts has it brought to mind?
• Do you have someone in your sphere with whom you might wish to share this?
• How might this help a loved one you know?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of any listening ear, any journalling tool (even if it's a password-protected app you buy for a buck or two), any healthful means of getting free of the beastly, vexing vices keeping your greatness from the world.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Lasting

Before I left for basic military training, my great uncle, "Uncle Elmo" gave me a great piece of wisdom to which I clung in difficult days through training and in many difficult seasons since.  Uncle Elmo lovingly told me, "Johnna Kay, remember:  tough times don't last, tough people do - and you're tough people!"  As I stand here at my desk typing those words, tears come, and not for the first time today.  It's been a "tough time" this week for my military family, and for my heart.  Uncle Elmo's estimation of me as "tough" has been echoed by others, so I suppose there's plenty of evidence; but sometimes the work of "lasting" is tough indeed.

Although Reverend Schuller's books graced the shelves of my childhood home, and were among my mother's cherished volumes.  She had only a few books back then, and wasn't much of a reader, electing to focus on nonfiction, biographical, and self-help genres exclusively.  Her interests have now grown to include a wide range of fiction, and her collection has become colorful.  I never noticed in those years among The Be (Happy) Attitudes and other such classics by the cheerful Reverend the resilient quip.  We even listened to his teachings on television on The Hour of Power which is now carried on by his legacy; and I didn't catch the tough people lasting...

Maybe it was because I needed the message just then, at twenty-nine years of age, having already overcome the obstacles of my two foot surgeries and a full release without restriction to enlist...and needed to hear it from one of my heroes.  Uncle Elmo had served in the Army Air Corps, the seed that blossomed into my beloved Air Force.  I was carrying on his legacy.  

Maybe this message comes now because today was the memorial locally for another hero of mine.  David Angle, a man whose voice and laugh I hope I never forget, was the officer whose voice led me through the oath of enlistment - at his insistence - just months before the conversation with Uncle Elmo.  David Angle knew about tough people too, as he married one.  Kathy Angle is one tough woman, whose service as a spouse has been so honorable I sought to make her a mentor of sorts as I served as a spouse and then as a service-member too.  The courage and character, the hospitality and humility of this dear couple is beyond even my capacity for description; but I wanted to offer a bit of tribute to their example. 

The Angles prove well Uncle Elmo's words (whether they were his own or a paraphrase of the pastor's), "tough times don't last, tough people do."  Kathy, when you read this, you'll bear a designation I never hoped to share with you; but you're not only a widow, you are "tough people," and lasting isn't easy, but you will...and I'm here for you.

Jotting with Johnna
Who has been heroic for you?  How have you found resilience?  What words of strength do you recall have helped you - do you think of any that might bless Miss Kathy?  If so, please jot them in the comments so this might become a fountain of blessing.

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the time it takes to heal, to rest, and to discover where your strength is - where/what/whom your resources are.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

reset

 verb

re·​set | \ (ˌ)rē-ˈset  : to set again or anew

_____________________________________________________

I'm standing in a T-shirt I obtained in basic military training at Lackland Air Force Base.  I'm retired now; but between the time I got this garment and the day I obtained the little blue card signifying my status as a retired member of the armed forces, I reenlisted several times.  One might even say, I reset my status as a recruit in the United States Air Force all over again, renewing my commitment.

When playing chess or checkers or any other game of the sort, the field must be reset in order to begin.  It wouldn't make much sense to start with half the pawns still in the box.  In this case, and in many such situations, a reset requires a proper setup for success.

Consider how this may be true in your life on a daily basis.  To ensure proper hydration, you might reset your favorite water bottle and have it clean, filled, and ready to accompany you on your way in the morning.  To ensure you will be able to get a nice walk or run opportunity in your day, a fresh pair of socks and your supportive footwear awaiting you in your vehicle the night before could reset your path for the day.  To ensure your day begins with a positive spiritual reset, an alarm directing you to the Word would certainly be useful.

Jotting with Johnna
What game pieces can you set in place to reset and setup your next steps for a winning play wellness-wise?  A few simple moves can make all the difference; and the possibilities are only limited to your imagination, so what will you do to renew your game?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the forethought it may take to renew your commitment - or reenlist - yourself.  If you're still standing you're still serving in this force called life.  Reset today.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.