5 of 12: A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts

Welcome!  If you're new here, or new to this series, please visit the first of twelve for references and related context to this content.

Step Five:

"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

"Confession is good for the soul," I've always heard.  I'm uncertain who strung the words together in this precise fashion, but the concept is as old as time (Psalm 119:26; James 5:16; 1 John 1:9).  Even in the Garden of Eden, people were called to confess before further action was taken.  It's obviously important to recovery of all kinds, and the original set of Twelve Steps acknowledges that.

I've heard confession defined as "agreement with God about our selves and our sins."  Psalms 66:18-19 suggest that unconfessed sin creates a situation in which communication with God is shut down entirely.  In this way, confession truly is key to the door of forward progress toward restoration.

Image source:  https://images.app.goo.gl/dvh7WeWhEHVyd6qE8

Confession to others, however, meets with resistance as I consider it.  God already knows the truth, and it is futile to try and hide like Adam and Eve, hoping He won't find me out; also, His grace and mercy already sustain me, so I know I can trust Him with every detail.  Other humans, however, tend to look through lenses colored with their own kaleidoscope of belief, experiences, expectations, and other filters prone toward judgment and condemnation, or so my fears would tell me.  Isn't it funny how we can feel less alone when we go to someone and admit wrongs only to have them express they were complicit somehow, lessening the blame burden?  This reciprocity, however, isn't happening in Step Five.  That's because it isn't about mutual incursions but individual frailties, flaws, and fault - one's own alone.

In this step, the concept of a sponsor is explained.  The role of a sponsor, according to Bill B., author of Compulsive Overeater, 1981, is "to be supportive of the person s/he sponsors by guiding that person through the steps."  In receiving an inventory, a sponsor is not there to point out more defects or moralize the list in a way that makes sense to him or her; rather to simply listen attentively and hold reverent space for that person as they share in the safe confines of that relationship.

Jotting with Johnna:

• With whom can you safely share your story and self-evaluation?
• Are you willing to be completely honest with God and this "other human being?"
• What feelings arise when you consider the admission regarding the nature of your wrongs?

Remember:
You are not your behavior; but your behavior and your attitudes about it can bring you pain and defeat if you allow it to continue binding you where you are.  You are so very worthy of the liberating release of those bonds through authenticity and genuine confession.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.