Clean Slate

Image credit:  https://theparentcue.org/wipe-the-slate-clean

This time of year, especially at the beginning of a decade, messages abound on various media and in our social circles that point to the opportunities of a "clean slate."  Much like the proverbial "glass half [empty/full]" can always be refilled, the "slates" of life can always be swiped clean again, can't they?  In truth, the moment - any moment - every moment - is a fresh chance to begin, to reset, to approach all aspects of life in a "new" way.  There's no reason to postpone progress to the first of a week or the first of a month or the first of a year; nor is there any purpose in feeling defeated when a start is met with a stop, whether internally or externally induced.  Resolutions, then, are limitless in scope and no proper cause for self-judgment or grounds for surrender of goals.

It's a couple weeks into 2020 as I wax philosophical at my keyboard, and already the gym's parking lot was less congested than it had been Monday.  My regular 0530 crew of "repeat offenders" continue to show; and while we are always glad to see "newbies," the attrition is no surprise once the "New Year" is less new. 

Are you just beginning - or restarting?  Great!  I hope everyone you encounter is kind and encouraging, that you advocate for yourself by asking for assistance when you need it, and that you stay your course.  You will fail - we all do - to be perfect.  Humans are not meant to be perfect, and no matter how resolute you are, things will happen to throw you off track.  But take heart, the track didn't dissolve when you detoured; you can start with the next decision and get "right back on the horse." 

Yes, there are myriad metaphors here in these lines, but the message isn't cliche. 

 There will likely be more metaphor and simile here, because word pictures work!  

Just because you veered from your intended route, that doesn't mean you cannot "recalculate," as GPS devices are fond of saying.  Keep your promises to yourself, even if it means offering grace when you don't.

Jotting with Johnna:

• Have you felt that your efforts are "all or nothing?"
• How might you revise your mindset with the experience of "dropping the ball" on your goals?    
• Does perfectionism elicit self-hate when your performance is sub-par?
• Might "built-in-breaks" be part of your "plan" from the beginning - how might those bits of mercy change your overall success rate?
• What can you say to yourself or do for yourself when the inevitable slump or pit-stop threatens your forward momentum?

Remember:
Every breath is a beginning.  You are so very worthy of whatever it takes to get you drinking the water, taking the walk, lifting the things...

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Technical Difficulties

I'm currently at a work table in front of my built-in entertainment center, my laptop tethered by cord to my Apple TV device (one I've had for several years).  Why?  Because, apparently, the little box needed some TLC - not the television station, but the acronym alluding to attention and alteration.  I'm currently updating the software relevant to the times.

That has me thinking of our wild and wondrous lives.  We don't work well when we are bogged down with outdated ways of thinking or being or behaving in the world, do we?  I am certain I've needed a reset more than once in my adult life, and it hasn't ever been as simple as a cord and a few control inputs.  Usually, it's felt more like a destructive reboot (or a literal boot to my bum).

My Cache, Recycle Bin, and Downloaded Files get clogged in this amazing and connected life; and sometimes the overwhelmed circuits of my brain and body call for a spontaneous shut-down.  Having been in bed nursing a migraine three straight days, I realize this blog post was in the works for a while.  Sometimes my mind is more foolish than I'd care to admit, because I tend to dismiss the signals it's wisely urging me to heed.  That's when it will shut down without ceremony.

Confession:  the first three paragraphs were penned on 15 December.  It's 11 January - a whole new year - and I've got the second Apple TV device to update for my roommate's entertainment system.  I've been working so much around the house and having contractors in and out, not to mention the holiday-specific parts of life, that I delayed the thought until now.  Ironically, the post I wrote yesterday (Death and Taxes) had to do with updating software. 

There's a theme working here, I notice.

Often, when electronics are wonky in their operation, it's advisable to "cycle power."  That merely means that power is turned "off" and then back "on," usually with an interval in between those modes of operation.  When all else fails, unplug.  Other times, a factory reset is required to clear the system of interference (like cleaning out the lint filter on the dryer).

This week, even amidst the fearsome to-do list, I let myself off-the-hook for my morning gym sessions.  That's no small thing, given that I spend that time with my bestie; and excusing myself from our 0530 sweat sessions meant I'd get a little more sleep, but miss out on much-needed buddy time.  Factory resets - getting down to essentials - sometimes ditch the good with the bad; but they're often necessary in this life of incessant inputs.

Jotting with Johnna:

• How do you attend to and alter your life when you need a reset?
• What have you learned "the hard way" from refusing to rest?
• Who might help you be more mindful of the need to "cycle power?"

Remember:
Machines get overheated and people get overwhelmed; but there are ways to keep a system operational.  You are so very worthy of the reset, the act of cycling power, and the effort of updates to your software from time to time.  Find someone who holds you accountable to rest when you are resistant so you can avoid catastrophic system failure (or in my case, migraines).  Think of it as a firewall or fail-safe friend. 

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Death and Taxes

I figure my own income tax.  I have done this every year since I set out on my inaugural adventure of employ.  I also still have a copy of those early returns, even though I technically no longer need most of them.  More accurately, I suppose, my income tax is figured on my personal computer, replete with ten-key for all the digits and details.  I use the same software every year since the complexity of my tax situation warranted it - you might hear the sigh as I recall the days of procuring a paper form at the local post office and filling the boxes...a simpler time...  

I use the same software, that is, with updates...

The annual task of taxes has me thinking of the process with new focus now in 2020.  Every year, I purchase the new software license and update for that year.  Why?  Every year, there are changes to the law.  As our country and its conscience evolves, so the ways with which our contributions are considered evolve in turn.

How is it that we accept these changes in tax law as a natural (even if begrudging) happening; yet the changes in our physical, emotional, spiritual, relational, fiscal, and other aspects of existence are resisted or denied?  Isn't it logical to believe that the "software" and even the "laws" behind our digestion, musculature, posture, thought-life, social situation, and pocketbook would also show another year has passed?  Perhaps we are too afraid to face the entropy, maybe it's our collective need for control or perceived constancy...but we humans see the certainty of tax law shifting while we dismiss the near-obvious and nuanced shifts in our very-present reality.

What if new software, an update to match our aging hardware, could be as easily obtained as the compact disk from which my tax software is currently extracting files?  Oddly, I think we might better cope with such an update; but the subtle and unyielding ways in which our bodies display the marks of time...that's a "bit of a pickle."

Many books and blog posts and seminars address the inevitable modifications made by on a cellular basis.  Most of those whose reach is recognizable in the United States offer a manner of magic hinting to the fountain of youth.  Fear-based fanaticism over facing the multi-faceted impact of gravity and the consequences of our choices are capitalized upon by those who believe with zealous passion they have the silver bullet...  Granted, these tomes have their merits and can improve the quality of life for those who are able to sift through the diatribes to the diamonds on those pages; but what does the popularity of these writings say about us, really?

Corsets, hair color, creams, girdles, control-tops, push-ups...all aimed at youth-ing, all while making us insecure, uncomfortable, inconvenienced, and indebted, they age us in so many ways, ironically.

What if we recognized the gift age is?

What if the problem is that the software we are using is meant for a model that's obsolete?

What if the upload we require is already within us - and always was?

Jotting with Johnna:

• What might happen if you listened to your current cues of hunger and satiety?
• What if you lovingly stretched and lingered there a bit, rather than rushing to the next thing to do?
• How might you embrace the body, mind, spirit, soul, social circle, and pocketbook you actually have, practicing good stewardship and gratitude?
• Do you think an intuitively-driven stewardship might bring more peace to your daily life?
• Where might you spend the energy and other resources you currently wile away at fighting the years of life with which you are blessed?

Remember:

You are so very worthy of the acceptance and care it takes to see yourself for the changeling you are and allow the changes to happen while also appreciating the wisdom of caretaking...

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well. 

It's Tradition!

As I type, it's 05 December, and I'm surrounded by accouterments of holiday cheer.  Some are considered traditional, while others are unique to my own eclectic whims.  White silk roses join bright red poinsettias and vintage brass candles atop my table.  Traditionally, I'd be writing in my office, but I haven't decked that particular bit of hall.  I don't want to miss the beautiful things of this season, so I'm leaning in and breaking with the pattern of the other eleven months any way I can.

This is the time of year I most often hear the word, tradition.  It's likely because this is a part of the year steeped in symbolism.  Whatever the faith background may be, each of us probably experience a bit of nostalgic meaning when certain sensory inputs are presented - the scent of spiced tea, the bright lights strung in and out of homes, wreaths and wondrously-adorned trees...  These items are not necessarily exclusive to this time of year, but traditions involving them may be.

A dear friend, April, leaves her "Christmas tree" up all year (intentionally); but most folks practice the tradition of "putting up the tree" and then putting away the tree once the new year is breached.  I've hung a sparkly mistletoe decoration in the archway of my foyer, and while it's a nice thought to let it remain, I know I'll be compelled by tradition to tuck it away until next year when the time comes.  Some things are made more sacred by their relative absence.

Music this time of year, along with merry greetings from friends and strangers alike, enhance the audible traditions wherever I go.  Not everyone is glad and cheery about such things, but such sounds are virtually inescapable.  A tradition I haven't engaged in for several years is caroling, taking the tomes of the holiday to others in unison voice.  For years, I would carol at the local nursing home; and the joy expressed by those whose memories were refreshed - many of them singing along - still warms my heart.  Anyone up for some caroling?

Unfortunately, sometimes people use the "traditions" to pressure others.  When one pursues a more health-conscious way of being (especially with regard to food), it's often met with a disdainful, "you must [have/partake/indulge] - it's tradition!"  If you recognize that you urge others in this way, I challenge you to break with this tradition; and if you regularly face such pressures, I encourage you to gently do what works for you rather than balk.  There is power in a cheerful response; and your loved ones will forget that your abstinence or moderation, but they're not likely to dismiss a discussion if you engage in such dialogue.  Start a new tradition.

Jotting with Johnna:

• What symbols, songs, and traditions do you cherish this time of year?
• Are there traditions you'd rather remove from your festival?
• How might you rewrite the script for your holidays to honor your own wellness while maintaining reverence for the wishes of others?

Remember:  "it's the most wonderful time of the year," and you can decide for yourself what that means.  You are so very worthy of the forethought, compassion, and boundary enforcement involved in protecting your wellness while projecting love to others.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well. 

Superhero Backstory

I smile when I think of the superheroes I've witnessed - those larger-than-life characters on film and the awe-inducing ones I've had the honor of admiring in real life.  One thing I've enjoyed in recent popular culture has been the superhero backstories that have manifested from the minds of authors and screenwriters.  My imagination and curiosity has always driven me to investigate why folks do what they do, from whence comes their capacity for greatness or simple, gracious, courage despite the looming nemeses they have faced, and the motives compelling good (or gory) actions.  These backstories help to explain the loss, pain, duty, and other components that generate the powerful characters that captivate our sense of wonder.

https://movieweb.com/sky-cinema-superheroes-trailer/

Everyone has one - a backstory.  Not everyone becomes a nasty villain or virtuous hero; but we all have the ability to be either.  Capes aside, we each bear a mantle, and many have been driven to wear a mask - often that mask is meant to protect themselves in some way, a wall to the world...

When I learn where someone "comes from," his or her history disclosed to me - a precious and precarious trust established, I hold the peculiar jewel of those personal truths most valuable.  Those experiences and exposures contributed to the person they have become, the potential of what could be.  Often, these histories hinder, but often they herald a higher calling yet to be realized.  These disclosures also hint to the meaning/origin of the masks people wear, why they are prevalent, and what it would cost to cast them aside and face the world in stark, brave bareness.

Jotting with Johnna:

• What is your superhero backstory - those relationships, realities, realms in which you learned and grew, the elements which coalesced into the man or woman you are now?
• How has your past shaped your personhood, your attitudes and behaviors?
• Do your coping mechanisms and ways of relating with the world hearken to your history; and how are they helping or hindering you?
• Whose influence contributed to the person you have become; and who is impactful in your current development?
• Where might you garner superpower-like resolve to fulfill your promises, vows, to make real what dreams and passions wrestle for recognition in your spirit?
• Why not make today the day your backstory bolsters you to those things?
• Are you hesitant because the mask you have worn has become too comfortable to shed?
• If so, are you willing to do the work of self-discovery to boldly become free of it?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of breaking free of - building fire of - the backstory which brought you to this point.  You are the chooser, the catalyst, the Scribe of your own Wellness Script in everything from casting, alternate endings, and plot twists.     

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-eliot-quotes

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Stay SUPER.

Jigs

I have only one memory of my Paw-Paw, my paternal grandfather, Albert "Jigs" Sandridge.  I have also only one artifact aside from the headstone he shares with my Granny in our family plot; and my memory does not include that artifact.  The item which had belonged to him was his legendary harmonica, a now-ancient M. Hohner Tuckaway whose box's aged tape from numerous attempts at preservation belie both its preciousness to my late father and its delicate state.

As a child, I would - as stealthily as possible - spirit away with the magical musical instrument, attempting at its chords discordantly.  I'd had training with choir vocals, piano/organ, and the coronet; but this wee bit of metal and wood elements eluded mastery, probably likely to the secretive and seldom opportunities of experience with it.  It seems a family legacy of musical pursuit would be best served in the simple-seeming act of utilizing this heirloom..but it will require time and discipline to focus on its practice.

I've not only tried to play Paw-Paw's "mouth-harp," but bought "trainers" with the intention of ridding myself the novice mistakes on lesser instruments.  My time playing acoustic guitar seemed to hold promise, as the same chords relate to both the stringed and sighing implements of music here mentioned paragraphically.  Yet, the Tuckaway sits mocking me as I type.

Also, I might add, do the shelves of books whose bits of wisdom I had hoped to apply to this meager blog in content, contentedly contributing to the Wellness Scripts of her readership.  Why do we collect things and then allow them to collect tolls on our souls in such manner?  I think we have great intentions, those of us whose creative and compassionate hearts seek to do good in the world with the writ available and the wit afforded us by our Creator...it's that the follow through is less thrilling than the pursuit, perhaps.

Knowing the tendencies of the mortal mind, then, 

what shall a harmonica-owning, book-blessed meaning maker do 

to master the reviews, the recital, and the real-time realization 

of dreams so easily made evident in her home office?  

Deadlines can be lifelines in such instances.

My grandfather, "Jigs," as he was known in his youth, was capable of leading a squaredance, playing his Tuckaway, and participating in the squaredance himself at once.  I did not witness this, as I was the latest part of his life, beyond the breathing of music and magic for which he had become known; but enough have attested to the truth of it to hold me accountable to a calling of fitting capacities.

As for my solitary, serenely vivid memory of Paw-Paw?  I was on his lap in the home he shared with Granny on Wheeling.  His weathered and dappled hands turned the pages of what was to my toddler perspective an enormous storybook.  The story was Puss in Boots, complete with illustrations.  I recall feeling safe and content in that tender embrace, a man whose hands had driven school buses, troweled cement, laid bricks, and done all manner of work to provide for his family...  Those same hands cradled the Tuckaway as its music soothed souls likely sharing struggles that would cause modern folks to shudder.

As my father was born in 1930 and his sister in 1934, the Dustbowl and Depression had marked the lives of my grandparents well before they reared their two offspring; yet they played the organ and harmonica, sang hymns, and thrived.  My grandmother had been a nurse, and at over six feet in height, she had paid the price of years on her feet by the time she died a few years after Paw-Paw.  They knew hard times, but also obviously valued the arts despite the austerity they had faced, moving from Oregon County, Missouri to Tulsa, Oklahoma in search of opportunities not afforded them in their hometown.

We are all gifted in a way to reflect the image of God individually unique to all other humans - that's my belief anyway.  Be it music or medicine or more practical work, each of us has a part to play.  One cannot dawdle when the music is playing.  Even amid mistakes and missteps, the beat carries the musician forward as a Muse brings forth words to these pages...

Jotting with Johnna:

• Do you have unfinished tasks calling to you?
• How does the business of belated follow-through make you feel?
• What actions might you take today to overcome inertia and invest some work into these tasks?
• With whom might you contract to ensure you involve your mind and energy on a regular basis in the fruition of your stated aims?
• Are there tasks and items or activities you wish to simply put to rest and riddance in favor of others; and if so, what stops you?

Remember:  it has been said that we needn't hold onto a mistake simply because of the time we have spent making it.  If there are obstacles impeding your progress, you are so very worthy of the thought and effort - even the discomfort - of releasing those things so that you can live your very best life now.  Whatever your interest or instrument, you were not born to bear it as a weight around your neck, but to juice the thing for what it has for you (which is entirely subject to individual needs, desires, and calling) in the time for which it is for you.  Not everything - nor everyone - in your life is for all seasons, save the Savior.

Like a Boss

As I write this, it's 16 October, National Boss' Day.  I have a personal interest in this composition, as someone of whom I am terribly fond happens to be in a management position.  It's the first time I'll have the opportunity to celebrate that part of his identity, so I'm uniquely inspired.

Image source address

What makes a "good boss?"  Dictionary.com points out a few ideas related to this in its entry for the four-letter-word, "boss."  This individual "makes decisions, exercises authority, dominates...superintends workers...is master over others...manages, directs, controls..."  My mother was a bakery/deli manager for a substantial chain of grocery stores here in the USA; and I watched her perform her duties as the boss by leading by example.  She never asked a worker to do something she was not willing to do herself.  She could be stern but was discerning with those in her sphere.  My father was sole proprietor of a tree service, which has its own set of arduous demands and onerous decisions.  He too was a dirt-under-the-nails kind of working boss; and I spent much of my childhood on the job with him, banter and humor were staples interwoven with safety and efficiency.

Resourcefulness, creativity, and wise compassion may not come instantly to mind for some when they consider a boss; but I've witnessed these traits play out in groups to great avail.  In my military career, having learned from my parents and others whose dominion over my work brought lessons about followship, fidelity, and faith, I sought to be the kind of leader whose calloused hands and determined spirit inspired accountability and eagerness in my airmen.  I had operated my own business prior to enlisting, and the lessons I learned during that decade of my life solidified those of my youth.

I think, essentially, a leader is a learner - one who studies people.  What motivates someone to work effectively for a boss?  I believe it is a matter of concern expressed and consistency exemplified.  Balance is crucial between the heart and head when putting hands to service and commanding a group of folks whose backgrounds may infinitely diverse.  Work ethic, cultural inputs, expectations of self and others, clear communication, and boundaries are some of the things that factor into a positive work environment and fulfillment in one's career at any level.

Whether or not you have served in a leadership position, you are the boss of your wellness.  What items you choose to partake, how you move and rest, even the way you think - all these things factor into the results you see in your body and mind.  Whether you are a good one or a bad one, you're living in your body like a boss.

Jotting with Johnna: 

• Are you accountable to show up for yourself, leading your life with intention?
• Whose influence has been forceful in your decisions (media, parents, significant other)?
• Is it time you "cleaned house" and took a greater leadership role in your nutrition and fitness?
• What one thing will you do today to assert your sovereignty over your food and activity?
• If you had to write a performance evaluation for your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional wellness, what would be your 
• strengths?
• weaknesses?
• areas of improvement?
• objectives for the coming season?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the realization that you alone are responsible for the management of your wellness.  We all do well to glean what we can from the wisdom and experience of others, but in the end, it's your story - your bottom line - for which you will have to give an account.  Write your own Wellness Script and watch the profit and loss shift in your favor.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.  ...Like a boss!

Grasping & Releasing

Have you ever run across something in your possession and wondered why you kept it?  Having moved within the past year, I've had opportunities to explore just that.  At the moment, several Christmas ornaments grace my desk.  Four of them are identical, unopened 2014 Swarovski annual snowflake ornaments I purchased as gifts for people I never ended up meeting (long story).  Now, I have these collectible items (valued at $133 each on Amazon just now) sitting in their triangular boxes mocking me for a former year's foolishly exuberant gift buying.

Those four boxes of crystal have me thinking that some things perceived as valuable in one way can also poke at vulnerabilities, cause self-doubt and even conjure self-defeating thoughts and behaviors.  In short, some things can weigh us down simply because we continue to hold onto them.  

Image credit:  https://www.thaitechnics.com/fly/principle.html

In ground school, I studied the dynamics of thrust, drag, lift, and weight.  The F-16 C/D jets I maintained during my military career relied upon thrust from the single engine to propel them forward, to overcome the jet's substantial weight including fuel and payload, to create air pressure and stimulate lift, all the while avionics-equipped to minimize drag in its fly-by-wire system.  Naturally, attachment of centerline fuel tanks, targeting pods, munitions, and the like would increase weight and drag forces.  It's still arguably the most agile fighter jet in service, even with a full load; but compensation for the drag and weight differences are made at a price.  During sorties, though, the bombs and sometimes even tanks can be released from the air over specified areas, significantly altering the dynamics once again, making the jet more efficient by landing time.

I have paid a price in available storage space and self-esteem with the ornaments I still have in my grasp.  They will soon bless someone else's home, this time outside their boxes, as I release them.  In the releasing, I'll be realizing a little less drag.

Jotting with Johnna:

• What items, activities, concepts, projects, or perspectives might be causing drag in your life?
• What step can you take today to release the weight of them?
• Is a mindset of scarcity, fear, or other limitation keeping you from dropping those things?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the evaluation and consequent elimination or delegation of anything keeping you from soaring!  Consider, pray, and decide today how you will take action and enlist someone who will hold you accountable - a wingman.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Bookish & Bullied

I am surrounded by books - blissfully so.  Reading and writing are like breathing and walking to this whimsical spirit of mine; and my office reflects that...also the bins of books in my garage I have as yet been unable to fit into my office's substantial shelves.  I'm wordy and witty and want not for change in that end.

However, many of the books I've selected and sequestered to my writing nook have lost the relevance and resonance they held when first I found them.  As ScriptedWellness' originator, leader of a wee band of Wellness Scribes (my readership), and a woman whose quest for the quilt-like fragments of wisdom which might be woven into said Script from others, I have often bought books in order to facilitate this endeavor.  Now, however, as I view the covers of the vast assembly of books, I have had trouble deciding to write on one of them.  It's a quandary for certain.

Lately, it just seems so very simple and unforced to peaceably listen to my innate wisdom - the intuitive and powerful communication from my body and mind which God designed to keep me well.  As they say in popular parlance, "sorry, not sorry."  It's a serene situation I've sought for decades, and I am loathe to give that up for rules and restrictions which obviously contribute to further bondage and eventual failure.

Not only don't I want to read and write on these things, but I don't want to inflict the damaging dietary dogma on those who happen upon this page - it's meant as a ministry, a resource.  I do, however, intend to bring content I believe contributory to a contented relationship with food, body, and the sphere in which my Scribes each reside.  It's evolutionary and revolutionary on a very personal level.

Jotting with Johnna:

• Have you experienced a paradigm shift in your approach to caring for body and mind?
• What feelings and thoughts informed from and then appeared because of this shift?
• Is it time to question the words on your own walls?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the time and attention it takes to determine whether something in your life is a help or hindrance; and you are the only person responsible to eradicate that which no longer inspires or edifies you.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Nourished and Flourishing

Have you ever communed with someone over a table replete with choice nutritional options and yet found yourself so completely sated by the encounter itself that you could not care less what the menu offered?  Laughter, conversation, and easy connection enchanted me recently; and much to my surprise, the very air around me seemed to seep into any empty places and satisfy every sense of longing for nourishment.  Like the best tiramisu, the finest chocolate, even the spiciest pumpkin pie, the pleasure of presence made me crave only more of the experience.

Image source:  personalitytutor.com

Nourishment can take many forms, as many culinary and cultural and comforting elements exist in countless configurations and combinations, we humans have holistic, multifaceted hunger and fullness mechanisms.  We are not bodies with a spirit, mind, and soul, but rather beings whose spirits, minds, and souls inhabit earthly vessels.  As such, intellectual stimulation, sharing sacred space, partaking in beauty and wonder, and yes, edible nutrition all have their place in the scope of sating appetites.

I like a lovely dinner with its nuanced textures, tastes, colors, and aromas as much as any other human.  I know it's counterculture to sit at a dinner table and abstain from delicacies at arm's reach.  From a survival standpoint, it may even be seen as counterintuitive.  Nonetheless, I have learned the art of savoring life's deeper nurturing - feeding the force that is me as a whole.  In this life, many do without the basic essential components of human thriving, yet I have come to a place in my life that is amply supplied beyond my imaginings.  It is with humble awe at my favor and fortune that I approach each day. 

It has been said that hunger is the best seasoning.  Gratitude, peace, abiding joy, perhaps, create the best garnish.  Whatever the recipe included at that table, I am filled and content.

Jotting with Johnna:

• What deeply nourishes you?
• Do you have a favorite ambient setting which brings you meaningful and lasting satiety?
• With whom might you share a meal and spare the meal simultaneously?
• Have you noticed fullness in ways non-visceral?
• How might you experiment with alternate means of nourishing yourself and others today?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the preparation, presentation, and presence of that which makes you flourish!

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.    

Wired for Sound

I recently moved into a home with a wired (and impressive) sound system in place.  Honestly, it's been ten months...  Only yesterday did I have someone come to assess what I would need to actually utilize the ten speakers dispersed through the home, including two on the covered patio outside.  Obviously, I've lived without the luxury of those speakers for over four decades, and it's no needful thing; but the nagging feeling I'd get when I glanced at my ceiling made me feel foolish.

The two electronics professionals searched high and low for the speaker-wire, finally locating all of it.  Different areas of the home have different wiring even though it's the same system.  It made me think of the way we work as humans in much the same way.  God put an amazing system - state of the art - in humanity.  We're the pinnacle of His creation, and as such, we are capable of far more than most of us do with the decades we inhabit the earth.  In truth, many of us never actually power up to our potential.

When I really look at my life and the great abilities with which I've been endowed, it's like the sidelong glances at my dormant speaker system.  I realize with contrition that I have been wired for sound, yet my speaker-wires are long hidden due to feelings of various kinds, wanting to hide by playing small when there's no way to truly mask the truth. 

Luke 8:16 (MSG)

“No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a washtub or shoves it under the bed. No, you set it up on a lamp stand so those who enter the room can see their way. We’re not keeping secrets; we’re telling them. We’re not hiding things; we’re bringing everything out into the open. So be careful that you don’t become misers of what you hear. Generosity begets generosity. Stinginess impoverishes.”

Jotting with Johnna:

• You were born with purpose and potential, wired for sound; have you figured out how to  let your light shine?
• What holds you back from living your most vibrant life mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, or fiscally?
• How will you address your wiring issues today so that you can be seen, heard, and celebrated for the unique ways you show God to the world?

Remember:  you and your message are so worthy of the discomfort, discipline, and devotion it will take to develop your talents and share them with the world.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Say It Until You See It

Salutations to my Wellness Scribes!  Forgive me for my recent absenteeism, but I was cowering while I should have been towering over my fears.  No more hiding - back to the exposition and expansion of truth as we find it and application of said truth to our individual Scripts.  Thanks for being here, whoever you are and wherever you find yourself!

"Say it until you see it," contemplating the subject in question today, visualization, I simply think of that simple phrase.  A distant cousin to "fake it until you make it," this concept refers to the practice of expectant faith in an outcome for which one develops a mental picture or mantra, anchored by the senses and accepted through affirmative repetition and sensory support.  That's my definition of visualization as I've explored it lately.  Belief and focused, intentional hope in the physically relaxed state of daydreaming is actually quite powerful - in fact, it is the energy behind fervent prayer.  Effective prayer involves trusting in the object of the petition fully, asking in alignment with God's will, speaking/seeing that which is yet to be as though it has already come to pass.

image:  Success.com

Visualization is the premise behind Jon Gabriel's testimony that he shed the excess weight on his frame and even shunned his migraine headaches, found in his 2015 publication, Visualization for Weight Loss:  the Gabriel Method Guide to Using Your Mind to Transform Your Body.  The mind is a powerful thing - something known to athletes and academics alike for centuries - and it can make the difference between struggle and success in virtually every pursuit. 

image:  LightofMind.com

One visualization practice, led by Jon Gabriel himself, is available here.  

image:  LionSpeak.net

I've used meditative practices like visualization for many purposes over the years, creating my own affirmative statements or reciting words from hymns or Holy Writings of my faith.  Walking with mindful attention to the steps as I take them, yoga with a focus on breathing through difficult asanas in order to build a sense of calm in times my combat PTSD is triggered, and even use of aromatherapy as an anchor to create a mindful and sacred space have all proven helpful to me.  If you've ever imagined yourself making a pitch or presentation, having a difficult conversation with someone, or running a race to the finish, you've done it too.

Jotting with Johnna

• Have you ever focused on the outcome, imagining the most optimum thing possible?
• If so, did the experience make you feel more confident, more relaxed, or more ready?
• Even if those were the only things to result from that visualization, would it have been worthwhile?
• What vision, goal, or dream might you use visualization to bolster?
• Why not begin today, with just a few minutes, conjuring the picture of that ideal outcome, perhaps adding instrumental music or a particular fragrance to anchor your senses?

Remember:  you are so very worth the energy, attention, 

and repeated action invested in your wellness, 

even if it seems to be all in your head.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Side Note

I'm composing this blog entry on a new device, an early gift for my birthday (which is exactly two months from tomorrow for anyone wondering about shopping days).  Upon setting up this new machine, I had to recall things I've previously established on other electronic devices.  Been there?

Well, one thing I had to ensure works here is my Dropbox account.  Dropbox is quite handy digital storage/backup that can be accessed on a standard computer, tablet, or even mobile devices.  The interface is quite user-friendly, and it has something I didn't even know it had - Dropbox Paper, which is a way to collaborate and cooperate with others on a project (like a writing project, perhaps).  It's pretty useful, and admittedly attractive to this introverted soul. 

Check it out here:  https://db.tt/Fu63EBos5m 

It's a free application you won't regret adding.

Darkness

I've wrestled with migraines for over a decade, since the line of duty injuries to my spine caused degenerative disk disease and spinal stenosis.  The neurologist I see has attempted all sort of medical intervention - I even had three rounds of Botox injections three months apart last year - with only limited results.  Even the injections from the emergency room that once provided relief are now impotent in my system.  To say it's frustrating is to understate the obvious - days on end of painful evasion of light and sound and scents...days lost to darkness.

But even migraines can honor God when I allow it.

Darkness and quiet, ice packs over the eye and side of the head where the migraine strikes, stillness and pressure, pillows that prop in the right places and take the pressure off others - these things are familiar to migraine-having-folks...and also there are the short, desperate prayers for relief.  Even those of us prone to waxing philosophical in our everyday lives (okay, maybe it's just me) get very direct in those times.  The electrical storm in my brain can be truly humbling as I stumble through the days after a migraine attack, leaving me feeling like an uncoordinated toddler fighting sleep.  Fortunately, there are no word-count-minimums to legitimize our prayers, just connection.

Be still & believe.

Even in the darkest places, isolated by pain, we can trust that God hears us and understands our hurts.

Jotting with Johnna

• We can likely all recall times of darkness; what drew you out of yours?
• Do you have God's Word hidden in your heart (memorized) so that, even when you aren't able to look at a page, you can still focus on a passage of Truth?
• What has pain taught you about patience, God's faithfulness, and compassion to others?
• How might the dark places in your life help highlight the goodness of God?
• Who needs to hear your story of deliverance from darkness & how can you share Light [a hand-written letter, in person, over the telephone] with him/her?

Remember:  your struggles can be strengths when you let God use them (look what He has done with the sixty-hour headache).  Claim victory today and reshape the burden into a blessing in Jesus' name.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Seeing & Believing

https://www.newson6.com/clip/14828022/heavy-rain-causing-flooding-water-rescues-in-eastern-oklahoma

Last night, we had volatile storms and voluminous rainfall.  Power went out at my home and in many other areas too.  Tornadoes, wild winds, and (personally) vivid dreams were prevalent throughout the wee hours.  One of my dream moments stayed with me this morning, and for that I am glad.

It wasn't the dream of trains and evasive maneuvers - one of many dreams I had last night - that I chose to cherish this morning.  Rather, it was a snapshot, a brief glimpse into a dream, and the feelings attached.  In the dream, I looked at my reflection and something in the reflection told me that things are turning around and heading to a place of peace and pleasure (the elimination of my recent displeasure) in my physical form.  It's been a few months since I recognized my reflection during the daylight hours, and it's been rare that I cared to linger long enough to really see it.  In the dream, though, I did not pull away or pout; I smiled.

Lately, Hebrews 11 has come into conversation and contemplation, especially being sure of our hope and certain of what we don't see.  Funny that a dream image should bring me a hope-filled smile, but isn't that just like our loving Father to feed and nourish our faith when we aren't looking?  

The YouVersion verse of the day, Philippians 4:7 says (in the Holman Christian Standard) "and the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Other translations and versions generally say "surpasses understanding," so I thought it interesting that this one used "surpasses every thought."  Thoughts influence what we see, how we perceive items, actions, everything.  Thought, mindset, worldview, any word you like to insert here, is surpassed by the peace of God.  

I am headed to healthfulness, out of this bewildering wilderness of weight that attached to me in the last nine months - yes, that's right, a human gestation period.  It is time for birth, for release, for the floodwaters to flow off the surface and let the sprouts that have been waiting to spring forth reach for the sunlight of the Son's purposes.  As the Psalmist declared in Psalms 63:8, I cling to God; His right hand upholds me.  As I speak that verse over this life, with the water overwhelming the earth just outside my door, I imagine God's mighty hand and mine, laced together for strength of bond, and Him lifting, upholding me, bringing me up out of the muck and mire as I cling to Him, my hope.

I am kept in perfect peace because I trust in, hope in, lean upon, rely fully on God!  Isaiah 26:3-4 is a reminder that God's perfect peace guards my heart and mind and I am sustained by His unfailing, upholding, unending peace!  This vision is true and trustworthy regardless any voices of doubt or opposition that may assail me.

We cannot grasp our nightly dreams, well, then there's Jacob (Genesis 32:22-32; Hosea 12:3-4).  People say they "caught a vision," and perhaps that means more than it might appear.  I shall hold onto the good vision-dream God has given me so that I might also bless others with it (Romans 12:9; 1 Thessalonians 5:21).  I believe that God has plans for my life, and that He shows me Himself when I seek Him with all my heart (Jeremiah 29:11-14), and He will bring me to a place from which I have felt exiled.  I am filled with faith and hope and humble joy; and I earnestly seek God (Hebrews 11:6); (I always struggled with believing this for myself), and He rewards those who seek Him with all their being!  

As the old hymn declares, "Whosoever surely meaneth me! "  I am learning what pride and humility really are.  Whenever I believe something about myself that is contrary to the truth God says about me, I'm not being humble, no matter how lowly I may feel; it's prideful, arrogant, and stubborn.  I always saw myself as a humble person, probably because I'm naturally introverted and shy and was repeatedly scolded for it in my youth, and because I had a low self-worth...  If I'm able to truly assess my attitudes, however, that which shows up as shame is - in truth - a pride problem.  Proverbs 29:23 says that pride humiliates, while humility brings honor.  True humility (as opposed to false humility) is a lens through which we are able to see ourselves - even our mirror reflection - through God's loving eyes (Colossians 3: 8-17).  James 4:6-7 says that God gives grace to the humble, and that evil must flee when I stand up against it.  Psalm 10:4 says that "the wicked are too proud to ask God for help.  He does not fit in their plans."

Colossians 3:8-17 New International Version (NIV)
8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Jotting with Johnna

• Have you been clinging to the truth about yourself, your identity in Christ, the fact you are "holy and dearly loved," or have you believed the lies of society, self-criticism, and the enemy?
• What if you caught a vision that more closely resembles the way the Father sees you?
• How might that alter your attitudes and your choices?
• Is it prideful to allow God's plans for you to elevate and empower you?  Really, isn't it actually humble to trust God to fill in the broken places, to be vulnerable to Him, to let Him be the Judge and in so doing, release self-judgment?
• What does the peace of God guarding your heart and mind in Christ Jesus look like in your daily life?

Remember:  whosoever surely means you, and that means God is not willing that you should perish but that you might invest your hope, your faith, your mind in Jesus' transformative work in and through your life (John 3:16-17; Romans 12:1-2). 

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Revolving

When I was young, my mother was a cake decorator (and bakery/deli manager).  She was an artist with icing, and technology was not such that it is today; so that's saying something.  One item I recall is the turn-table she used when crafting the sugary canvas.  Round it went as she turned with one hand and iced/decorated with the other.  She also used a smaller device to rotate and create icing roses. 

 

There was a task to perform or an evaluation to make with each turn of the table or pin.  Sometimes, situations in life seem to revolve - to come around over and over - and it can be vexing, especially regarding wellness.  I'm no yo-yo-dieter, but my weight has fluctuated by 25-30 pounds over the decades like that proverbial yo-yo; and at the moment, it's lost on me just who is holding the string. 

Each time I pulled off the "trick" of mastering my strength and body composition, I think I'm set to move away from the endless self-scrutiny.  Yet I eventually feel the pull of gravity and the tug of my waistband like a force inescapable as I attempt to resist the avalanche to no avail; and I end up at the ceiling of my weight (not a nice place to be).  Like Paul, I lament over my inability to simply do what I truly desire to do and maintain my size for more than a few years at a time (Romans 7:14-21); I know it is best for me to remain lean and healthy, but my flesh thwarts my intentions.  Like a bad song repeating itself over and over in my head, the resisted weight revisits.

Jotting with Johnna

• Have you had issues that revolve in your life, despite your resistance to them?
• When have you noticed these problematic tendencies occur - is there a commonality?
• What might the issues that vex you be attempting to teach or offer you?
• How might you explore the messages of your menacing behavioral offenders?
• Where do you sense answers coming from in your body - what sensations arise?

Remember:  the old adage is that what we resist persists, and also that things repeat in our lives until we learn what it is they seek to teach us and until we grow in that part of our lives.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Hangups

The practice of hanging things on walls began far before I could say.  In fact, decorating or communicating by means of wall-scape is so ancient as to represent some of the earliest human history.  The ways we deck the walls and hallways of our homes, however, are now quite varied and evolved from the hand-hewn messages in lost languages.  When I was a child, hanging art or portraits meant nails, hooks, and maybe piano wire; now, we don't even have to search for the elusive stud behind the wall's covering to hang even relatively heavy things.

What we display and where we elect to deposit things - that's another bit of fascination.  From magnetizing things to our refrigerator doors to peg boards and the insides of office cubicles to the sacred wall spaces in our homes, we choose what we want to recall, what we dare not forget, what we treasure, what we have accomplished, and what we have created.  My father had some real hangups over hanging things upon the walls of my childhood dwelling, warning of holes in the walls.  As such, it has been both liberating and vexing to adorn the walls of my adult abodes.

I stand in my office - the "Womb Room" I dubbed it upon moving here months ago.  It is to be the birthplace of books and blogs alike.  It is a haven for creativity, and at the moment it has two more things hung on the wall.  The items I hung yesterday have moved with me twice - first in the year following my husband's death, and finally into the home I bought to share with my mother.  They are nearly identical, but for the name on the plate affixed to each frame.  One bears my own moniker and the rank I held while I was deployed to Iraq; the other bears that of my late husband/wingman.  Since receiving the "Hometown Heroes" gift commemorating our service, we kept them in their embellished boxes.  It was simply too great a thing to see, too difficult a decision where they'd go; and so they stayed hidden until now - the place of honor they hold is either side of the French doors o my office.  It's sacred and quiet and something most folks will never see as they enjoy my home; and it symbolizes that it's okay for me to have something "just for me."

That's the real hangup that kept me from hanging up the twin frames bearing the names of the twin flames we were until death hid Steve on the other side of Heaven's wall - I have never believed it was okay for me to have something "just for me."  But he was, and he believed I was enough just for him.

So I stand in this office with a few things gracing its four walls, and for the first time, it truly feels like I'm preparing the Womb Room and the heart-seed to grow here.

Isn't it funny what happens when we see our hangups for what they are?  

They lose their power over us, and the result is empowerment of a new kind.

Jotting with Johnna

• What hangups have you recognized in your life?
• Where do some of your hangups originate, and where in your body's senses do they "land?"
• How have you handled these hangups, and what was the harvest you reaped?
• Have you changed the way you choose and display things in your space?
• Are there hangups keeping you held back from your dreams and goals, and why do they persist?

Remember:  you are so very worthy to have things in your life that render beauty, bliss, and the best from within you; and there is at least one person on the planet who could likely help you realize them.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Delaying & Replaying

Cassette tapes have nearly become extinct, giving way to more sophisticated technology (those that don't require a pencil).  The one above - and, yes, it's a link to Amazon where tape recorders/players like these can still be purchased - reminds me of those I saw and used in my childhood.  Now that I've "dated myself," why does this near-obsolete machinery matter?

In many ways, our minds work like this tape recorder.  We catch data as it comes, including plenty of background noise, and it's stored by our brains; but recall can be another matter entirely.  Distractions and distortions in the noise of our lives only make this more problematic...especially when those distractions are forms of procrastination and rumination over unpleasantness.

I'm guilty of delaying what needs doing and replaying what needs dismissed.  Fact is, sometimes I want things to be different and I want to avoid things that seem difficult.  As humans, we are wired to avoid pain and attend pleasurable activities, items, and interactions.  That's great for surviving; it's not so great for thriving, living a life beyond existence. 

Often, whenever I acquiesce to the essential tasks I've sought to evade, I find the reality of the experience is far less painful or difficult than the anxious mental detours I took trying to avoid them.  Phone calls to be made, errors to correct, paperwork to file...we all have our own form of nemeses that haunt our awareness at the edges like the background noise and interference we used to get trying to tape (record) something from the radio as it played.  It's static on our mental airwaves; but we can eliminate it and elevate ourselves to better behavioral technology.  It's time for an upgrade.

Jotting with Johnna

• What evasion tactics have you employed in relation to your overall wellness?
• Is there a conversation you need to have, a task you need to tackle, resistance you need to reconcile?
• How might delaying and/or replaying be wasting time you could otherwise utilize more productively?
• Who would be a helpful accountability partner in the transition from procrastination to productivity?
• List three things you can do today to eliminate some of the static of putting off what needs done.

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the discipline it takes to live a life free of static, a life less cluttered and chaotic; and it only takes a bit of effort to make it so, repeated often.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Critical Eyes

This morning, I had been criticizing my body, hating it for the digits it produced on my scale, for its stubbornness, for its refusal to comply with my expectations.  I viewed my size with critical eyes, as if that would somehow generate a response from the molecules to align with my demands.  Then I opened my YouVersion Bible App to the Verse of the Day...

"I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."
Galatians 2:20 (Amplified Version)
https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/GAL.2.20.AMP

I've read and even memorized this verse over the years in various translations or versions; but the first bit of the verse always had the bulk of my awareness.  Today, my heart bleeding from the beating I'd given it moments before, I locked in on the latter part:  The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.  I'm living in this body, indwelt by the Son of God, by faith in Him whose love is unsurpassed...and I've hated myself.  What an arrogant thing to do!

Self-loathing is not humility; it's pride.  The word-wiz in me went to the dictionary/thesaurus to find that hating is "to feel intense dislike, extreme aversion, hostility; detest; despise; disdain; disfavor; malice" among the entries.  "Malice?"  Oh, Dear.  I know enough Scriptures that warn against malice to know the Holy Spirit was driving the proverbial car to Repentance-ville.  

• 1 Peter 2:1 "Put aside every trace of malice..."
• Colossians 3:8 "Rid yourselves [completely] of all...malice.."
• Ephesians 4:31 "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]."
• 1 Corinthians 5:8 "Therefore, let us celebrate the feast, not with old leaven, nor with leaven of vice and malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and [untainted] truth."
• Matthew 5:22 "But I say to you that everyone who continues to be angry with his brother or harbors malice against him shall be guilty before the court; and whoever speaks [contemptuously and insultingly] to his brother, ‘Raca (You empty-headed idiot)!’ shall be guilty before the supreme court (Sanhedrin); and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of the fiery hell."

What, then of malice that is inflicted inwardly?  How can that be helpful?  Godly sorrow is not the same thing as guilt, shame, and self-loathing.  Those things rob us of so many things that they cannot offer any virtue.  Instead of wounding myself and defying God's Word, let me "become enthusiastic for what is good" (1 Peter 3:13).  Our culture has much to say about "self-love," and it's not all from benevolent sources.  An appropriate view of my own value as a believer is best found in the kind of love God has for His creation.  To love-even-so, to be merciful, compassionate, and edifying in my words and attitudes toward myself is to agree with Him who made me.

Jotting with Johnna

• How has hatred, anger, malice, and self-deprecation been helpful for you as you pursue wellness?
• What stops you when you go on the downward spiral of self-loathing?
• Who could offer accountability and redirection for you as you turn the malice-mobile around and head toward a more loving way of being?
• Do you think that putting away malice toward yourself might also help your relationships with others?
• Where else in your life might the benefits of such redirection manifest?
• What reminder could you use - by your bathroom scale, in your closet, or elsewhere - to keep yourself mindful of the mandate against malice?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of acceptance, approval, and agape-style love regardless your size or situation.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Water

I have several shovels on my property, and many of them are actually mine...but several others are here to do the work of digging up my entire yard due to a water drainage problem that's been an issue since it was constructed in 2013.  I moved here seven months ago (November 2018), and I am very grateful for my new surroundings, but the palace I imagined didn't have a moat around it.  Fortunately, God led me to call upon a gentle, godly couple of men to hire for the job of this massive project; and eventually, I won't require the drawbridge to let the postman come to my front door.

Water, at the moment, is troublesome.  It's fascinating how something so essential can be so destructive.  I'm praying for the God whose voice called all that is into being, the Lord who calms the winds and the waves, Him whose feet effortlessly trod over water, because He can handle my local bit of flooding.  Whatever happens, it's going to work out in the end, and I am at peace.

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You!"

Isaiah 26:3 (NLT) 

Jotting with Johnna

• Have you felt flooded by life's concerns?
• Do you wonder when/if the tide will turn?
• Whom do you call upon when you're "up to your ears?"
• Wouldn't it be best to trust in the One who already knows your needs?
• How might you turn your cares over to Him, rather than continue to shovel blindly?
• What if that would create a flow of wellness from within that manifests in your whole being?

Remember:  control over your circumstances - and especially your response to them - is best entrusted to the Master of the Waves.  Call upon Jesus; you won't regret it.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.