Side Note

I'm composing this blog entry on a new device, an early gift for my birthday (which is exactly two months from tomorrow for anyone wondering about shopping days).  Upon setting up this new machine, I had to recall things I've previously established on other electronic devices.  Been there?

Well, one thing I had to ensure works here is my Dropbox account.  Dropbox is quite handy digital storage/backup that can be accessed on a standard computer, tablet, or even mobile devices.  The interface is quite user-friendly, and it has something I didn't even know it had - Dropbox Paper, which is a way to collaborate and cooperate with others on a project (like a writing project, perhaps).  It's pretty useful, and admittedly attractive to this introverted soul. 

Check it out here:  https://db.tt/Fu63EBos5m 

It's a free application you won't regret adding.

Darkness

I've wrestled with migraines for over a decade, since the line of duty injuries to my spine caused degenerative disk disease and spinal stenosis.  The neurologist I see has attempted all sort of medical intervention - I even had three rounds of Botox injections three months apart last year - with only limited results.  Even the injections from the emergency room that once provided relief are now impotent in my system.  To say it's frustrating is to understate the obvious - days on end of painful evasion of light and sound and scents...days lost to darkness.

But even migraines can honor God when I allow it.

Darkness and quiet, ice packs over the eye and side of the head where the migraine strikes, stillness and pressure, pillows that prop in the right places and take the pressure off others - these things are familiar to migraine-having-folks...and also there are the short, desperate prayers for relief.  Even those of us prone to waxing philosophical in our everyday lives (okay, maybe it's just me) get very direct in those times.  The electrical storm in my brain can be truly humbling as I stumble through the days after a migraine attack, leaving me feeling like an uncoordinated toddler fighting sleep.  Fortunately, there are no word-count-minimums to legitimize our prayers, just connection.

Be still & believe.

Even in the darkest places, isolated by pain, we can trust that God hears us and understands our hurts.

Jotting with Johnna

• We can likely all recall times of darkness; what drew you out of yours?
• Do you have God's Word hidden in your heart (memorized) so that, even when you aren't able to look at a page, you can still focus on a passage of Truth?
• What has pain taught you about patience, God's faithfulness, and compassion to others?
• How might the dark places in your life help highlight the goodness of God?
• Who needs to hear your story of deliverance from darkness & how can you share Light [a hand-written letter, in person, over the telephone] with him/her?

Remember:  your struggles can be strengths when you let God use them (look what He has done with the sixty-hour headache).  Claim victory today and reshape the burden into a blessing in Jesus' name.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Seeing & Believing

https://www.newson6.com/clip/14828022/heavy-rain-causing-flooding-water-rescues-in-eastern-oklahoma

Last night, we had volatile storms and voluminous rainfall.  Power went out at my home and in many other areas too.  Tornadoes, wild winds, and (personally) vivid dreams were prevalent throughout the wee hours.  One of my dream moments stayed with me this morning, and for that I am glad.

It wasn't the dream of trains and evasive maneuvers - one of many dreams I had last night - that I chose to cherish this morning.  Rather, it was a snapshot, a brief glimpse into a dream, and the feelings attached.  In the dream, I looked at my reflection and something in the reflection told me that things are turning around and heading to a place of peace and pleasure (the elimination of my recent displeasure) in my physical form.  It's been a few months since I recognized my reflection during the daylight hours, and it's been rare that I cared to linger long enough to really see it.  In the dream, though, I did not pull away or pout; I smiled.

Lately, Hebrews 11 has come into conversation and contemplation, especially being sure of our hope and certain of what we don't see.  Funny that a dream image should bring me a hope-filled smile, but isn't that just like our loving Father to feed and nourish our faith when we aren't looking?  

The YouVersion verse of the day, Philippians 4:7 says (in the Holman Christian Standard) "and the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Other translations and versions generally say "surpasses understanding," so I thought it interesting that this one used "surpasses every thought."  Thoughts influence what we see, how we perceive items, actions, everything.  Thought, mindset, worldview, any word you like to insert here, is surpassed by the peace of God.  

I am headed to healthfulness, out of this bewildering wilderness of weight that attached to me in the last nine months - yes, that's right, a human gestation period.  It is time for birth, for release, for the floodwaters to flow off the surface and let the sprouts that have been waiting to spring forth reach for the sunlight of the Son's purposes.  As the Psalmist declared in Psalms 63:8, I cling to God; His right hand upholds me.  As I speak that verse over this life, with the water overwhelming the earth just outside my door, I imagine God's mighty hand and mine, laced together for strength of bond, and Him lifting, upholding me, bringing me up out of the muck and mire as I cling to Him, my hope.

I am kept in perfect peace because I trust in, hope in, lean upon, rely fully on God!  Isaiah 26:3-4 is a reminder that God's perfect peace guards my heart and mind and I am sustained by His unfailing, upholding, unending peace!  This vision is true and trustworthy regardless any voices of doubt or opposition that may assail me.

We cannot grasp our nightly dreams, well, then there's Jacob (Genesis 32:22-32; Hosea 12:3-4).  People say they "caught a vision," and perhaps that means more than it might appear.  I shall hold onto the good vision-dream God has given me so that I might also bless others with it (Romans 12:9; 1 Thessalonians 5:21).  I believe that God has plans for my life, and that He shows me Himself when I seek Him with all my heart (Jeremiah 29:11-14), and He will bring me to a place from which I have felt exiled.  I am filled with faith and hope and humble joy; and I earnestly seek God (Hebrews 11:6); (I always struggled with believing this for myself), and He rewards those who seek Him with all their being!  

As the old hymn declares, "Whosoever surely meaneth me! "  I am learning what pride and humility really are.  Whenever I believe something about myself that is contrary to the truth God says about me, I'm not being humble, no matter how lowly I may feel; it's prideful, arrogant, and stubborn.  I always saw myself as a humble person, probably because I'm naturally introverted and shy and was repeatedly scolded for it in my youth, and because I had a low self-worth...  If I'm able to truly assess my attitudes, however, that which shows up as shame is - in truth - a pride problem.  Proverbs 29:23 says that pride humiliates, while humility brings honor.  True humility (as opposed to false humility) is a lens through which we are able to see ourselves - even our mirror reflection - through God's loving eyes (Colossians 3: 8-17).  James 4:6-7 says that God gives grace to the humble, and that evil must flee when I stand up against it.  Psalm 10:4 says that "the wicked are too proud to ask God for help.  He does not fit in their plans."

Colossians 3:8-17 New International Version (NIV)
8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Jotting with Johnna

• Have you been clinging to the truth about yourself, your identity in Christ, the fact you are "holy and dearly loved," or have you believed the lies of society, self-criticism, and the enemy?
• What if you caught a vision that more closely resembles the way the Father sees you?
• How might that alter your attitudes and your choices?
• Is it prideful to allow God's plans for you to elevate and empower you?  Really, isn't it actually humble to trust God to fill in the broken places, to be vulnerable to Him, to let Him be the Judge and in so doing, release self-judgment?
• What does the peace of God guarding your heart and mind in Christ Jesus look like in your daily life?

Remember:  whosoever surely means you, and that means God is not willing that you should perish but that you might invest your hope, your faith, your mind in Jesus' transformative work in and through your life (John 3:16-17; Romans 12:1-2). 

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Revolving

When I was young, my mother was a cake decorator (and bakery/deli manager).  She was an artist with icing, and technology was not such that it is today; so that's saying something.  One item I recall is the turn-table she used when crafting the sugary canvas.  Round it went as she turned with one hand and iced/decorated with the other.  She also used a smaller device to rotate and create icing roses. 

 

There was a task to perform or an evaluation to make with each turn of the table or pin.  Sometimes, situations in life seem to revolve - to come around over and over - and it can be vexing, especially regarding wellness.  I'm no yo-yo-dieter, but my weight has fluctuated by 25-30 pounds over the decades like that proverbial yo-yo; and at the moment, it's lost on me just who is holding the string. 

Each time I pulled off the "trick" of mastering my strength and body composition, I think I'm set to move away from the endless self-scrutiny.  Yet I eventually feel the pull of gravity and the tug of my waistband like a force inescapable as I attempt to resist the avalanche to no avail; and I end up at the ceiling of my weight (not a nice place to be).  Like Paul, I lament over my inability to simply do what I truly desire to do and maintain my size for more than a few years at a time (Romans 7:14-21); I know it is best for me to remain lean and healthy, but my flesh thwarts my intentions.  Like a bad song repeating itself over and over in my head, the resisted weight revisits.

Jotting with Johnna

• Have you had issues that revolve in your life, despite your resistance to them?
• When have you noticed these problematic tendencies occur - is there a commonality?
• What might the issues that vex you be attempting to teach or offer you?
• How might you explore the messages of your menacing behavioral offenders?
• Where do you sense answers coming from in your body - what sensations arise?

Remember:  the old adage is that what we resist persists, and also that things repeat in our lives until we learn what it is they seek to teach us and until we grow in that part of our lives.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Hangups

The practice of hanging things on walls began far before I could say.  In fact, decorating or communicating by means of wall-scape is so ancient as to represent some of the earliest human history.  The ways we deck the walls and hallways of our homes, however, are now quite varied and evolved from the hand-hewn messages in lost languages.  When I was a child, hanging art or portraits meant nails, hooks, and maybe piano wire; now, we don't even have to search for the elusive stud behind the wall's covering to hang even relatively heavy things.

What we display and where we elect to deposit things - that's another bit of fascination.  From magnetizing things to our refrigerator doors to peg boards and the insides of office cubicles to the sacred wall spaces in our homes, we choose what we want to recall, what we dare not forget, what we treasure, what we have accomplished, and what we have created.  My father had some real hangups over hanging things upon the walls of my childhood dwelling, warning of holes in the walls.  As such, it has been both liberating and vexing to adorn the walls of my adult abodes.

I stand in my office - the "Womb Room" I dubbed it upon moving here months ago.  It is to be the birthplace of books and blogs alike.  It is a haven for creativity, and at the moment it has two more things hung on the wall.  The items I hung yesterday have moved with me twice - first in the year following my husband's death, and finally into the home I bought to share with my mother.  They are nearly identical, but for the name on the plate affixed to each frame.  One bears my own moniker and the rank I held while I was deployed to Iraq; the other bears that of my late husband/wingman.  Since receiving the "Hometown Heroes" gift commemorating our service, we kept them in their embellished boxes.  It was simply too great a thing to see, too difficult a decision where they'd go; and so they stayed hidden until now - the place of honor they hold is either side of the French doors o my office.  It's sacred and quiet and something most folks will never see as they enjoy my home; and it symbolizes that it's okay for me to have something "just for me."

That's the real hangup that kept me from hanging up the twin frames bearing the names of the twin flames we were until death hid Steve on the other side of Heaven's wall - I have never believed it was okay for me to have something "just for me."  But he was, and he believed I was enough just for him.

So I stand in this office with a few things gracing its four walls, and for the first time, it truly feels like I'm preparing the Womb Room and the heart-seed to grow here.

Isn't it funny what happens when we see our hangups for what they are?  

They lose their power over us, and the result is empowerment of a new kind.

Jotting with Johnna

• What hangups have you recognized in your life?
• Where do some of your hangups originate, and where in your body's senses do they "land?"
• How have you handled these hangups, and what was the harvest you reaped?
• Have you changed the way you choose and display things in your space?
• Are there hangups keeping you held back from your dreams and goals, and why do they persist?

Remember:  you are so very worthy to have things in your life that render beauty, bliss, and the best from within you; and there is at least one person on the planet who could likely help you realize them.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Delaying & Replaying

Cassette tapes have nearly become extinct, giving way to more sophisticated technology (those that don't require a pencil).  The one above - and, yes, it's a link to Amazon where tape recorders/players like these can still be purchased - reminds me of those I saw and used in my childhood.  Now that I've "dated myself," why does this near-obsolete machinery matter?

In many ways, our minds work like this tape recorder.  We catch data as it comes, including plenty of background noise, and it's stored by our brains; but recall can be another matter entirely.  Distractions and distortions in the noise of our lives only make this more problematic...especially when those distractions are forms of procrastination and rumination over unpleasantness.

I'm guilty of delaying what needs doing and replaying what needs dismissed.  Fact is, sometimes I want things to be different and I want to avoid things that seem difficult.  As humans, we are wired to avoid pain and attend pleasurable activities, items, and interactions.  That's great for surviving; it's not so great for thriving, living a life beyond existence. 

Often, whenever I acquiesce to the essential tasks I've sought to evade, I find the reality of the experience is far less painful or difficult than the anxious mental detours I took trying to avoid them.  Phone calls to be made, errors to correct, paperwork to file...we all have our own form of nemeses that haunt our awareness at the edges like the background noise and interference we used to get trying to tape (record) something from the radio as it played.  It's static on our mental airwaves; but we can eliminate it and elevate ourselves to better behavioral technology.  It's time for an upgrade.

Jotting with Johnna

• What evasion tactics have you employed in relation to your overall wellness?
• Is there a conversation you need to have, a task you need to tackle, resistance you need to reconcile?
• How might delaying and/or replaying be wasting time you could otherwise utilize more productively?
• Who would be a helpful accountability partner in the transition from procrastination to productivity?
• List three things you can do today to eliminate some of the static of putting off what needs done.

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the discipline it takes to live a life free of static, a life less cluttered and chaotic; and it only takes a bit of effort to make it so, repeated often.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Critical Eyes

This morning, I had been criticizing my body, hating it for the digits it produced on my scale, for its stubbornness, for its refusal to comply with my expectations.  I viewed my size with critical eyes, as if that would somehow generate a response from the molecules to align with my demands.  Then I opened my YouVersion Bible App to the Verse of the Day...

"I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."
Galatians 2:20 (Amplified Version)
https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/GAL.2.20.AMP

I've read and even memorized this verse over the years in various translations or versions; but the first bit of the verse always had the bulk of my awareness.  Today, my heart bleeding from the beating I'd given it moments before, I locked in on the latter part:  The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.  I'm living in this body, indwelt by the Son of God, by faith in Him whose love is unsurpassed...and I've hated myself.  What an arrogant thing to do!

Self-loathing is not humility; it's pride.  The word-wiz in me went to the dictionary/thesaurus to find that hating is "to feel intense dislike, extreme aversion, hostility; detest; despise; disdain; disfavor; malice" among the entries.  "Malice?"  Oh, Dear.  I know enough Scriptures that warn against malice to know the Holy Spirit was driving the proverbial car to Repentance-ville.  

• 1 Peter 2:1 "Put aside every trace of malice..."
• Colossians 3:8 "Rid yourselves [completely] of all...malice.."
• Ephesians 4:31 "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]."
• 1 Corinthians 5:8 "Therefore, let us celebrate the feast, not with old leaven, nor with leaven of vice and malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and [untainted] truth."
• Matthew 5:22 "But I say to you that everyone who continues to be angry with his brother or harbors malice against him shall be guilty before the court; and whoever speaks [contemptuously and insultingly] to his brother, ‘Raca (You empty-headed idiot)!’ shall be guilty before the supreme court (Sanhedrin); and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of the fiery hell."

What, then of malice that is inflicted inwardly?  How can that be helpful?  Godly sorrow is not the same thing as guilt, shame, and self-loathing.  Those things rob us of so many things that they cannot offer any virtue.  Instead of wounding myself and defying God's Word, let me "become enthusiastic for what is good" (1 Peter 3:13).  Our culture has much to say about "self-love," and it's not all from benevolent sources.  An appropriate view of my own value as a believer is best found in the kind of love God has for His creation.  To love-even-so, to be merciful, compassionate, and edifying in my words and attitudes toward myself is to agree with Him who made me.

Jotting with Johnna

• How has hatred, anger, malice, and self-deprecation been helpful for you as you pursue wellness?
• What stops you when you go on the downward spiral of self-loathing?
• Who could offer accountability and redirection for you as you turn the malice-mobile around and head toward a more loving way of being?
• Do you think that putting away malice toward yourself might also help your relationships with others?
• Where else in your life might the benefits of such redirection manifest?
• What reminder could you use - by your bathroom scale, in your closet, or elsewhere - to keep yourself mindful of the mandate against malice?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of acceptance, approval, and agape-style love regardless your size or situation.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Water

I have several shovels on my property, and many of them are actually mine...but several others are here to do the work of digging up my entire yard due to a water drainage problem that's been an issue since it was constructed in 2013.  I moved here seven months ago (November 2018), and I am very grateful for my new surroundings, but the palace I imagined didn't have a moat around it.  Fortunately, God led me to call upon a gentle, godly couple of men to hire for the job of this massive project; and eventually, I won't require the drawbridge to let the postman come to my front door.

Water, at the moment, is troublesome.  It's fascinating how something so essential can be so destructive.  I'm praying for the God whose voice called all that is into being, the Lord who calms the winds and the waves, Him whose feet effortlessly trod over water, because He can handle my local bit of flooding.  Whatever happens, it's going to work out in the end, and I am at peace.

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You!"

Isaiah 26:3 (NLT) 

Jotting with Johnna

• Have you felt flooded by life's concerns?
• Do you wonder when/if the tide will turn?
• Whom do you call upon when you're "up to your ears?"
• Wouldn't it be best to trust in the One who already knows your needs?
• How might you turn your cares over to Him, rather than continue to shovel blindly?
• What if that would create a flow of wellness from within that manifests in your whole being?

Remember:  control over your circumstances - and especially your response to them - is best entrusted to the Master of the Waves.  Call upon Jesus; you won't regret it.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Evaluating Value

My family is participating in a neighborhood garage sale.  I'm thrilled!  We had garage sales at both homes prior to moving into our current home last year; but we have plenty to send on its merry way now that the remains of those homes are blending.  It has me thinking of the transient nature of value as we align ourselves with our core values.

I've held in my hands many things that once felt like treasures; but now I must decide whether or not they're "worth their keep."  Often the value of free space displaces any value an item might have.  If it's not contributing to the surroundings in some way or is otherwise not put into operation in a way that adds value, I must consider if the object is actually detracting from life like a slow drip.

Jotting with Johnna

• What do you value highly in your life despite any arbitrary-monetary measure of value?
• How do you apply your personal-philosophical values when evaluating items in your home?
• Do you notice some things become practically worthless while others become priceless to you?
• Why do you think this might be relevant to the concept of writing your Wellness Script?
• Have you collected items, activities, or connections which now cost you more than they are worth? 

Remember:  your value is found in your spiritual identity, not in things, accomplishments, or any other measure of worth.  If something is taking up too much room in your mind and heart, appraisal may be in order.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Worlds Collide

The 118th episode of Seinfeld includes a theory of social "worlds" colliding and the imminent demise of "a George divided against itself."  This concept references three-dimensional, parallel-universe concepts and the idea that they must be kept separated or face mutual peril.  If you want to geek-out a little, this article is a good start.  Season 7, Episode 8 is certainly memorable; but sometimes worlds coalesce rather than crash when they collide.  Last night, as it has before, my life demonstrated that.

A fellow Veteran contacted me the other day.  We served together, and have always had great rapport.  She asked me to join her at the home of mutual friends, my neighbors three homes down the road from my abode, to even up the number of a recurring gathering from her church.  The game was pitch (otherwise known as setback or high-low-jack) and the food was Tex-Mex.  I made a spicy bean dip and made my way down the street, made the $1.00 ante...and in the end, I made $3.00 for making "Low Girl," otherwise known as last place.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that really happened.  So much for "beginner's luck."

The group was lovely and the interaction lively, beginning with a time of prayer requests and intercession.  Many faces in this gathering were familiar; glimpses into my childhood as a 4-H member, my young adulthood as a full time cosmetologist, my time in the military, and my new life as a widow and member of the garden home community in which I reside - all a testament of growth from roots to shoots.  Rather than uncomfortable entanglement, this felt like an embrace folding the little girl I was with the woman I've become as one might fold a patchwork quilt.

Romans 12, especially verse 18, comes to mind as I consider how it could be that so many archetypal aspects of my life could flow with such felicity and faculty.  During my US Air Force Technical School graduation, TSgt Hinton (my instructor) quoted 1 Thessalonians 4, admonishing us to

"...make it your ambition to live quietly and peacefully, and to mind your own affairs and work with your hands, just as we directed you, so that you will behave properly toward outsiders [exhibiting good character, personal integrity, and moral courage worthy of the respect of the outside world], and be dependent on no one and in need of nothing [be self-supporting]."  AMP

In times like last night's gathering, I see the harvest of this principle in living color.  The reason the patchwork of my past and my path was so seamless and ease-filled is the quiet, peaceful, conscientious, diligent, and honorable behavioral principles that mark my days.  It's not anything about me that makes this so - it is Christ in me, the influence of wise adults with compassion and integrity demonstrated in front of me during childhood, and the general ordering of my steps as a believer. 

Jotting with Johnna

• What would happen if your worlds collided?
• Are you fearful of people who know you from different spheres being in the same place?
• How might a life infused with integrity alter the reality of this situation?
• Why not apply Micah 6:8 to your life today...to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God?
• Do you think your social, spiritual, psychological, and even physiological life might improve?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of a fresh start, that's grace - God's unmerited favor lavished on us freely.  Your past and your path needn't resemble one another.  Isaiah 43:18-21 holds precious hope as God makes new things happen.  Jeremiah 29:11-14 points us toward seeking God wholeheartedly and states that God has plans - good plans - for His followers.  Finally, Matthew 6:25-34 offers us freedom from worry and liberates us to peace as we move forward.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

What are You Wearing?

My mother used to make cakes similar to the one above for my (blonde & taller) younger sister and myself for our birthdays.  Talk about a Happy Meal - it's a full sized doll with your favorite cake wrapped around it!  Those were good times.  Now that I'm decades into adulthood, the notion of the cake that wrapped itself around my thighs is not nearly as sweet.  Good ole days indeed.

This morning, I was drawn to Colossians 3:1-17 in my handy YouVersion Bible App.  We aren't called to be clothed in birthday cake (sadly), but we are called to take off and put on other things now that we're walking as spiritually whole and healthy folks.  It begins at the top of our head - with what we set our minds upon and what we seek, our focus.  Then we are to starve out selfish, rebellious, harmful desires because those longings keep the fellowship of the Spirit at a distance, diminishing our life and all the blessings attached.  We are to guard not only what we consume, but also what we commit - our words, our attitudes, our honesty.  It's a stripping off the old rags, the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3), and anything that's in the way (Hebrews 12:1-3) so the garment of praise, the new self, the prince/princess attire as coheirs of the King can be rightly fitted and display the new creatures we are.  

As the Kyle Matthews song says, 

"you don't wear your old shoes on your brand new feet."

No, toss those nasty coverings to the side.  

They're not worthy of the King's children.  He has something better for you to don.

"...put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper]; bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive. Beyond all these things put on and wrap yourselves in [unselfish] love, which is the perfect bond of unity [for everything is bound together in agreement when each one seeks the best for others]. Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always]. Let the [spoken] word of Christ have its home within you [dwelling in your heart and mind—permeating every aspect of your being] as you teach [spiritual things] and admonish and train one another with all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus [and in dependence on Him], giving thanks to God the Father through Him." 

(beginning middle of verse 12 through 17 of Colossians 3 as referenced above, AMP)

Jotting with Johnna

• What are you wearing on your mind, soul, spirit, inner and outward appearance?
• What items do you need to replace to sport a suitable spiritual and behavioral attire?
• How might a full strip-down and suit-up from the foundation "garments" help the rest of your identity in Christ "fit better?"
• How might this practice of clothing yourself prepare you for the addition of the armor of God?

Remember:  you are so very worthy to doff those old, smelly yearnings and habits because your adoption is sealed and paid for by the Prince of Peace Himself.  Royal robes of sonship and daughtership await you; and it's no dress rehearsal.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Fencing

I live in a community of privacy fences, constructed of stone and cedar.  As someone who grew up in a very rural area with nobody in "shouting distance" but cattle and coyotes, the relative seclusion these border-walls provide has its appeal.  Mending Wall, a poem by Robert Frost, cleverly addresses the nuances of these constructions, both their causes and their curses, beginning with the continual maintenance every spring.

The book linked above, Boundaries, and its many strategic applications, is a fence-building manual of sorts that makes us better neighbors to others and to ourselves.  The cover of the book, even in its simplicity, is convicting to me.  The line is drawn with a pencil in that image...and I wish my own boundaries weren't so easily swept to the side.  Even in ink, though, I can imagine the metaphor of water-soaked smearing and smudging.  This has been a struggle for me my whole life, attempts to set healthy boundaries thwarted by my eagerness to avoid conflict and bring relief to others.

It's not something I'm elated about sharing, frankly.  I know the value of honest and honorable boundary setting.  I wrote many papers in my graduate studies about this relational form of fencing, only to realize the paper on which the writing was printed was probably better enforced than my actual boundaries.

It always feels more like fencing and fending off wounds to my heart, swords coming at me until I surrender because I don't want to hold my ground at anyone's expense.  As a War Veteran, it is that much more ironic than it already seemed, and why I know I need to master this, to soldier on even if it means being afraid.

Jotting with Johnna

• What frightens you in relationship with others?
• How does that impact your behaviors?
• What can you do today to rise above fear?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of taking up space in the world - both your world and the world of your social relationships.  It's courageous work, it's consistent work, and it's crucial work if you truly hope to be fully well.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Sweet Relief

The above image is from the Tulsa Women Veteran Retreat last year.  It was like a spiritual homecoming and military-family reunion.  It was sweet relief for those of us gathered that day.  There is a similar sweet relief in the home stretch of a long day, or that sense of nearly-home after travels, even the simple bliss of clean sheets and good pillows...

How might it be when we really get Home, with the spiritual-family we have in Christ since before we were born?  When those who march to Heaven's drum are finally assembled to cadence in the place our souls yearn to go, it will be joy unmatched; and the retreat will never end.

Jotting with Johnna

• Are you weary from the battles you've faced?
• Do you know the way Home?
• How do you find sweetness in your everyday?
• What might it look like for your overall wellness if you intentionally built some kind of sweet relief into your routines?
• List ten things that bring you relief, joy, calm, heart-fullness and visit that list when you need "something" to relieve your mind, refresh your body, restore your soul, or replenish your spirit.

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the forethought it would take to arrange for yourself times of retreat; and it might just keep you from resorting to unhelpful options.  Try it.  Psalm 23 tells us that the Lord, in His goodness, causes us to lie down in green pastures, leads us to still waters...He is a God who brings rest, sweetness, and retreat.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well. 

Revived

It's well into the afternoon of Easter Sunday.  Wind-chimes echoing praise outside my office window, the sunshine and springtime have me feeling hopeful.  I woke with the notion of resurrection power in my mind, of the liberating, empowering presence of the Holy Spirit residing and renewing me and every believer.  As you can guess, I was compelled to dig further.

As one who trusts in Jesus, knowing the Word and the wonder of His life on earth, His incomparable sacrifice for our freedom, and His overcoming death and Hell to win for us salvation, healing, and peace, I am in awe.  I'm redeemed and ransomed by Jesus.  I'm restored to hope and wholeness in every way.  When God breathes life into one which was lost, He doesn't limit, but rather lavishes His power over, throughout, and into every atom, cell, area...  He didn't leave Heaven and clothe Himself in flesh and face all He knew was necessary to give us a "pass," but to show us how green every pasture can be when He is our Shepherd. 

God pours His power into our souls, yes; but also our spirits, our minds, our bodies, our relationships...  We become infused and replete with life and love and limitless potential.  We are alive, we are accepted, and we must necessarily be amazed by grace. 

One definition of resurrection is "a rising again, from decay, disuse; revival." 
Revival is restoration to life, consciousness, vigor, strength; restoration to use, acceptance, or currency; an awakening.  

Ezekiel 37 talks of dry bones being brought to life, complete with sinew and skin, and finally, breath.  God tells the prophet to speak to the bones, dried and withered, "dry bones, hear the word of the Lord."  Have you ever felt dried up inside?  God knows you have.

Isaiah 58, calling God's people to repentance and promise, gives the very vivid picture of resurrection power, of revival.  If we personalize the message, as I was called to do this morning, we who believe can walk in these same confidences:

• I am continually guided by God when I pay attention to Him and walk in His way.
• God satisfies my soul in any and every scorched, dry place.
• God gives strength to my bones - and we just read what can happen with even dried bones yielded to Him by His word.
• I am like a well-watered garden. like a spring of water whose resource is without end.
• I am a re-builder, repairer, restorer in God's power.

Jotting with Johnna

• What areas of your life seem particularly "dry?" 
• Do you need to yield to the word of the Lord and be revived? 
• How might your physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, social, and other aspects of life be like a well-watered garden as you allow God to revive you?
• When would there be any better time than this moment to live a life resurrected?
• Why not trust Him?

Remember:  even dry bones can rise!  You are not too far gone, not to washed up, not beyond the resurrection power of God!

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Happy Easter!

 

Momentum

I like playing nine-ball.  It's a more interesting game on the table, in my opinion, and I played it with my late husband before his illness.  I have my own custom cue stick - a birthday gift years ago, and fond memories.  Pool is about angles and momentum (simplifying); and especially with nine-ball, it's about considering where to use those concepts to strategically place the cue ball with each shot to line up the next shot in a way that will be beneficial.

Once the cue ball is struck, the energy from the cue stick puts it into motion toward an object ball.  There is no turning back from the direction of the shot once things get rolling.  A chain of events begins in a moment.

I was thinking of the words "momentum," "momentary," and "momentous" this morning.  I found the definitions both confirmed and surprised me when I found them - our language is fascinating that way. 

Momentum is force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object (like our cue ball and those it impacts) or course of events.  The math/science geek in me also thinks of the product of mass times velocity; but our purpose here actually doesn't require any scrap paper - don't worry. 

Momentary has a variety of definitions:

1. lasting but a moment, fleeting
2. might occur at any moment; ever impending
3. effective or recurring at any moment; constant

Momentous denotes something that has a pivotal influence, of great importance.

A wordsmith my whole life, always enamored with the lexicon and its roots, I was actually humbled to discover the second and third definitions for "momentary."  It carried a thought of transience in my mind; but it can mean a status that's constant or imminent too.  The choices we make in any moment often generate momentum - and it can be momentous in our lives.  In one shot of a nine-ball game, the very first can be the final stroke, and I've experienced it, as the nine ball somehow lands in a pocket, winning me that game.  On the other hand, the cue ball can go reeling into a pocket as well, turning the advantage to one's opponent.  I've been "there" too.

Every choice has potential momentum.  Not choosing is also a choice, by the way.
Decisions, whether active and intentional or passive and unwitting, take these forms:

• Capitalizing:  seizure of advantage, electing to exploit the opportunity
• Capitulating:  surrender, abdication of one's ability, authority, or autonomy

Joshua 14:15 is a call for decision, "...choose you this day whom you will serve...as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."  It is the most momentous decision posed to humankind, and it is a momentary (as in constant, consistent, and - as life is brief, fleeting) opportunity for us all.  Either choice - capitalizing on the precious gift of Christ, the very reason for Easter - or capitulating to selfishness, rebellion, and ultimate spiritual death - has eternal momentum.

Take advantage of this moment.

Commit to the shot and move forward in relationship with Jesus.

"For whoever calls on the name of the LORD [in prayer] will be saved."  Romans 10:13

For more information, see the larger context in Romans 10:8-13  and, as verse 11 restates the promises of Isaiah 28:16 and Jeremiah 17:7, you won't be disappointed when you choose to follow the LORD.  

Jotting with Johnna

• What decision do you need to make in this moment, during this Easter weekend?
• Has the momentum of the culture caused you to roll away from your object?
• Why not trust the Master with the momentary and the momentous remains of your life?

Remember:  you are responsible for your response, and the shot is lined up for you.  If you think this message would help encourage someone, please share the link with them.  For more positive posts every week, subscribe or follow.  I won't capitulate your information, nor will I ever try and capitalize by sending you spam.  I promise.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Good

Today is Good Friday, Easter weekend.  I used to wonder how on earth we call the day of such suffering for our sake "good."  In Genesis, as God created everything, He declared each thing "good," and mankind "very good."  And just pages away, we humans made things go very badly...requiring the sacrifices Christ made on our behalf.  We soiled things, and the only way to clean it up (to make it good again) was the unsoiled, undefiled, unparalleled blood of Jesus covering our filth and converting us by faith - good thing for us.  Good Friday, indeed.

There was no other answer, no Lysol - only Love's soul - could penetrate the stains of our rebellion.

God's great mercy washed over our woeful, menacing sin debt.  We could never pay what we owe, but the only One who has stood in our skin stood in our place after living thirty-three years of spotless obedience...He could.  Good Friday is not the end of the story; but it's the reason we celebrate Christmas.  If Christ had not given His life for us, it would have done no real good for Him to come incarnate at all.  Who could argue that Christmas isn't good?  One (festively decorated) tree without the other (the one from which the cross was crafted to crucify the Carpenter) would be useless; and we would be hopeless.

Easter is Sunday, and it's an opportunity many take to pursue the peace for which Christ came, lived, died...and rose again to bring.  Don't fret over hidden eggs when you have the revealed Truth.

Jotting with Johnna

• What good have you witnessed in your life despite dark days like that Friday so long ago?
• How might you see every day in a different light, now that we are living in the shadow of the Cross?
• Have you found for yourself the peace Jesus brings?
• With whom might you discuss this?
• When can you make time this weekend to celebrate the wonder of Easter?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the love Jesus gives, not because of your own merit or anything you have done to earn it, but because He gives it freely and unconditionally to all who trust in Him.  Turn from defiance toward His deliverance.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

 

Highs and Lows

Image Credits | Creator:Daniel Grill, Getty Images/Tetra images RF

Fear is a primitive mechanism that can keep us safe; but it's also a menace that keeps us stuck if we allow it.  Gut feelings are often accurate, but sometimes "gutting it out" is necessary to overcome obstacles and escape our previous parameters.  It's a dichotomy of sorts, but it's applicable in many arenas of life. 

If we never faced fear, humans would have failed to survive this long, afraid to risk rejection or worse.  If we boldly raced into scary scenarios without any discretion, we would have put ourselves in precarious positions that would certainly have deadly consequences.  Wisdom, experience, and awareness must come into play.

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, one of my favorite humans has tackled his self-protective (and understandable) fear of box jumps.  Today, he hit a new personal best - twenty inches in height.  As humans, there are risks with leaving earth's gravity to leap onto a higher place with both feet - and to be "all in" with both feet in the context of any venture generates a physiological response and a psychological one as well.  That's one reason tears often come when we get to the other side of fear with success.  It's a high that's earned. 

Confession:  I'd probably wanna wear some kind of 

protective gear to mitigate risk of injury, 

like these...

...but such gear would feed fear and starve me of the freedom of movement...

The human experience includes fear of high places and low places alike.  I'm a very optimistic person, and that's always been the case for me, even in the direst circumstance.  I'm grateful for that part of my wiring, even as I recall a wise counselor point out that I'm lousy at staying low.  Fear has kept me from embracing and expressing the entirety of my emotional experience; and that fear has permitted some unhelpful patterns within myself and in relationship.  Fear of conflict, fear of letting others down, fear I won't be enough for some situations/people, and fear I'm too much for others...

When I step over that fear threshold, it's not comfortable...but on the other side is victory, liberation, and joy.  It's a high point, regardless of the circumstance.  When I lose fear, I win.

Jotting with Johnna

• Are you facing a precipice at which you must decide faith or fear?
• How can you muster the strength to defy the gravity of fear?
• What might happen when you cross the threshold?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the decision to demolish fear, even as you care for your heart.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well. 

Rhythm & Rules

Signs like the one above indicate to us whether or not an establishment is "open."  Unlike the 24-hour merchants popular today (brick and mortar, online, and others), there has always been a rhythm to the way businesses operated.  It's because our lives are rhythmic in nature.  As you see these letters, you are breathing in and out, your heart is pulling and pushing blood to keep you functioning, etc.  We thrive within the context of rhythm. 

Creativity and spontaneity are also aspects of a life well ordered, and they offer spice to the mundane.  Most music is rhythmic, but the songs I am listening to outside my window as the wind plays the wind-chimes is wild and free - and it's still a form of music.  Part of Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 was set to music in the last century, and the songwriter's tempo reminds me of swinging back and forth on a porch swing or in a rocking chair. 

Moon phases, sunrise/sunset, birth/death, gathering/purging, collect/spend, work/rest, celebration/grief...our eternal souls in earthen vessels take on the pattern - the rhythm of this linear life we know.  Our bodies need strengthening and stretching, fasts and feasts, sleep and wakefulness.  We measure time in weeks and months and years...and the Creator knew it would be best for us to have the concept of time, the constancy of orbit and rotation, the assurance that the beat to which we march through this life would continue to behave.

A hurried pace makes many of us harried people.

That tempo wears out our gears in all facets of our inner and outer worlds...

Could you put some "speed bumps" in place to ensure a more humane pace?

When we are "open," we may have scheduled duties or a variety of tasks that present themselves at seemingly random intervals.  To be "open" is to be ready to conduct the business of life.  To be "closed" is a time of readying, perhaps.

Jotting with Johnna

• Whatever season of life you find yourself in today, are you open to interruption?  

• to adaptation?

• to detours?

• Do you prefer more routine rhythm, or are you stimulated by unpredictable flow?
• How might rhythm, and revising the beat to which you step, amend your journey?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of working out a pace and pattern that serves your greatest good.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Rains & Reigns

I am a warrior, and that's true however one seeks to define it.  I have been to war on foreign soil, covered in gear and grit, two rotations, maintaining machines built for the purpose (F-16's).  I have fought for others, and I'm learning to fight for myself, to liberate those captive to destructive patterns of action, thought, word, and relationship.  I am passionate and fierce when the situation calls for such, quiet and gentle as well.  I was born for this; and God has seen me through every battle of my life.  When the rains fall and the storms ravage my spirit, threatening to rip me apart, the God who sees me reigns over it all, filtering every flash of lightning through His loving fingers, holding back the unthinkable...even when it feels like the unimaginable is happening...

A popular form of fitness training in recent years has included warrior-inspired movements and mechanisms, like the battle rope.  Whenever anyone uses them in my gym, I envision a strong chariot rider, clad in battle gear, urging the stallion to race into the fray - fierce indeed.  In reality, the ropes reign over nothing but the anchor holding the other end steady - and honestly, the anchor is in a reigning position of sorts. 

Another primitive provision more are using in the gym is the box or platform on which to do box jumps.  I've not attempted the taller version, but have had to do box jumps while a physical therapist or other authority reigned over me - never voluntarily...because I've allowed fear to reign in the moments I've faced the task. 

When I was eight years old, I fell on my face in a doorway at school during lunch recess (because I wanted my pen and paper - can't make that up, and it certainly fits my creative profile), and the fall broke my right front tooth in half.  The pain was intense and unrelenting; but that was nothing compared to the pain of ridicule and bullying the crown brought into my life.  From eight to sixteen years of age, I had a temporary crown - yeah, the kind that is only supposed to be worn a week or two until the "permanent" crown is made.  The dentist apparently didn't tell my mother that's how it worked...and the temp-crown on that right front tooth discolored, shifted, because it was never meant for the purpose of permanence.  It was in a place of prominence, exposed to shaming and accusation even though I was made to brush it with everything from lye soap to household bleach in an attempt to remedy the discoloration (and it never worked - only made it more porous).

At sixteen, I got a "permanent" crown, and I'd looked forward to that for eight long and tormented years...and the replacement for the small, discolored, now-crooked right front temporary crown was worse - yes, really.  When the film, Dennis the Menace came out in 1993, a couple years after my high school graduation, I felt some validation for my pain...(just watch.)  The permanent crown I got was longer, wider, and whiter than my natural teeth - actually, it was glow-in-the-dark white - and the kid who was constantly covering her face in shame, the girl who didn't smile in pictures, tried to laugh with her mouth shut, ate with her hand over her mouth...felt even more conspicuous. 

Twenty-five years after the original injury to my right front tooth, I began seeing a dentist in town because the one I'd been using retired.  The retiring dentist had never offered to remedy my situation, and by then, I'd resigned myself to the fate of my face.  At thirty-three years of age, at the time in my life I was deploying to Balad Air Base / LSA Anaconda in Iraq the first time, I got my smile repaired.  I wept as the dentist showed me the results of his craft.  I went from the girl with the broken smile to a woman who suddenly smiled, laughed out loud, posed with family for pictures, radiated joy in my countenance.  The Maroon 5 song was playing on the speakers as I looked into that hand mirror, seeing myself for the first time, a wounded eight-year-old who grew to be a warrior.

It's profound what the freedom to face the world with my chin up has meant.  Now it's been a decade of smiles...and tears...and rain...and reigning over my fear. 

Jotting with Johnna

• What holds you back from being freely fierce in your life?  
• What parts of you could use repair - your spirit, body, mind, soul..?
• What if the things you resigned yourself to, the things you have allowed to reign, could be washed away like a good rain cleanses the land?
• What can you do today to engage a battle as a freedom fighter and detach from the stories keeping you in shame shackles?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of joy, laughter, and levity in this life, even when you mourn.  Release the ropes, step down off the jump platform, breathe a minute and decide what you will do.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Sticks and Stones

Some things in life are heavy.  The stones I moved yesterday from one flowerbed to another are a few of those somethings.  Lifting (properly and cautiously) heavy things can be good for us.  Lifting isn't usually the difficult part when moving heavy things - it's the carrying of them without dropping them.  The sticks I gathered from the yard while working to recover the gardens and lawn from winter & weeds weren't heavy...until they filled the bag I was using to collect them.  Lifting too many less-heavy somethings, and especially carrying them, requires effort, commitment, and endurance.

We all carry things - whether they're in our hands, our heads, our hearts, or on our hips - we know what it is to "tote around" things we have, at some point, "picked up" in our journey.  Walking through life with too much "baggage" can weigh us down so much we are unable to keep our grip.  Things then get dropped/broken...or they break us (injury, illness, etc.).

Jotting with Johnna

• What are you carrying that you might be better off releasing?
• Inventory the things you think of most often, worry about, or otherwise spend mental energy maintaining in your life.  Which stone (heavy) or stick (less-heavy but accumulated) somethings could you let go (or at least loosen your grip on) in order to create space, explore, or embrace?
• What have you dropped or damaged in carrying - how might you repair/restore and release it?

Remember:  you are so very worthy of the thought it takes to ensure the sticks and stones you are currently carrying are truly essential or important - or to recognize what is harming you as you harness it onto yourself again and again.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.