See You Later, Alligator!

"Nick is an alligator!"  

It was common to hear dear Nicholas called an alligator, a pickle, a monster, and all sorts of silly things; and then he was "called Home."  It hurts to put it into words, but words are what I do, a gift with an admonition to employ it.  Nick was born 22 April, 1993 and died on 28 October, 2020; but he lives on in innumerable ways.

Nick gave levity and liveliness to every space he encountered; and to be with him was to accompany a celebrity.  Everywhere he went, someone seemed to know him and show their fan-ship; anyone next to him at the time was invisible as this vibrant young man sparkled.  Even when he couldn't recount to us just where the person knew him from (which was often), he was charming and kind as they called him by name - every time.

Nick's smile and laughter were contagious, infecting his sphere with inescapable giggles "on the regular."  He loved friends and family of all ages, and even a few select animals.  His gentle spirit and beguiling demeanor made him a magnet for all manner of folks; and when he ciphered your "tickle spots," watch out!

23 December 2014

Nick didn't have an easy go while he was here - from the start, his body underwent attacks from an un-seeable enemy who strove to squash Nick's indomitable spirit of resilient ebullience despite his pain.  Resolute to please and never be burdensome, Nick defied the cruelty inflicted upon him from the devil who stood to lose so much when others witnessed Nick's supernatural strength.  Nick overcame - time and time again - obstacles I cannot adequately address here.  Nick didn't have it easy; but he wasn't hard on others.

Nick's life verse, according to his loving parents, Dori and Greg Howard, was 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."  I watched them live this out together through many family and friend life events - ones that would have crushed any lesser folks.  It occurred to me yesterday, as I looked that verse up once again, that the fulfillment is just a few verses down, "And now He [God] has made all of this plain to us by the appearing of Christ Jesus, our Savior.  He broke the power of death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the Good News."  Nick was in the valley of the shadow of death many times in his twenty-seven years; but God was faithful to see him through.  Nick shines as a miraculous picture of the persistent ways God fights for us all, even when all seems lost.  Nick lives on in the place Jesus went to prepare for him, a place we can all be with faith and allegiance to God in Christ.  Nick also lives forever in each heart that loved and was loved by him. 

Nick's body was small here on earth, but his reach was large (and now I'm reminded of the many times his actual, physical reach was something of legend - back to the tickle spots).  Even after he has finished with his use of the earth-suit he inhabited, Nick's reach will extend to unknowable people and places; as he became an organ donor.  The admirable and unspeakable selflessness of this final bodily act is a testament to all the ways Nick touched lives in his brief life here.

Note:  even now, the devil is desperate to quiet the testimony of Nicholas Frazee.  Just as I completed the previous paragraph, my computer had an unexplained and inescapable emergency re-start.  If Nick can take a punch and keep on pounding, I can too.

Nick was blessed with a spirited, resourceful, faith-filled Mom; and Nick was reared by a determined, gentle giant of a Daddy.  His elder brother, Steven and loving sister-in-law, Kim have been caregivers and coconspirators as they have grown as a family.  Nick is also loved by uncles and aunts, his grandparents and great grandparents, and this adoptive-auntie as well (notice the present-tense; we have not lost him - I know exactly where he is).  Nick was blessed with faith - he loves Jesus, and I bet by now Jesus has revealed his tickle spots and given Nick a new Nick-Name.

Jotting with Johnna:

• Has your life included someone like Nick - someone whose steadfast and stubborn spirit defied the odds and indubitably confounded the devil?
• What is the legacy of this person in your life now - how are you different because of your interaction with your own Nick (and yes, I think Saint Nick is a moniker made for mine)?
• How can you be a Nick to others?

Remember:  you are so very worthy to recall with both smiles and sorrow any and all whose lives intersected your own and left their mark...and left you here with memories and a thirst for more of them.  There's no wrong way to grieve and to honor Nick (mine and yours), so long as you do no harm to yourself or others.  I hope you learn to find joy even as you mourn - Nick would certainly help you do just that.

In reverent memoriam of my beloved Nicholas.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

   

Rhythm & Soul

The pace and cadence of life has certainly been altered for every human alive - at least those living in the globalized psycho-space known by those likely to read these lines.  Masks and gloves and schedule restrictions, business closure and changes necessary for curating experiences conducive to public health - all these things and more permeate everything from errand running to commencement ceremonies and birthday parties...  Our individual and collective rhythm is disrupted, and has been for long enough to impact the soul for good or ill.

Humans are creatures for whom a sense of rhythm is inherently desired, evidenced by the fact that the devices by which we sense time's passage were put into motion before we were created (Genesis 1).  Without some awareness of the time of day or the day of the week, which has happened for many folks since the famous virus enforced adaptation in (and abandonment of) daily, weekly, even monthly routines.  This time of isolation and distance, cancellations and postponements, announcements and obstacles - it is a test of resilience and resolve.  Mental health, physical fitness, personal relationships, financial disruption, even shifts in how we observe worship practices - the proverbial beat to which our lives march forward has changed, taking with it all we attempt to orchestrate and accomplish.  No wonder so many of us are virtually limping in one area or another.

Bedtime and waking, workouts and leisure, socialization and vocation

...

all prone to faltering in this time unless we apply some measure of practical imagination.

Image source:  https://www.reddit.com

So, how then shall we live, given the circumstances and their relative consequences?  

We are creative creatures, capable of overcoming and adaptation; 

therefore, we navigate by troubleshooting and problem solving as required.  

Jotting with Johnna:

• With so much propaganda and expert advice highlighting what we "cannot" or "should not" do, ask the question, "what CAN I do today?"
• What former aspirations can you revisit, revise, or rest - and what accouterments of those you elect to release can be donated to benefit someone else or sold to help offset financial struggles?
• Whom might have otherwise received a visit from you during this time; and how can you reach out to the person(s) in safe but meaningful ways?  (letters/cards/telephone/email/text)
• Where can you still go - perhaps a place you took for granted previously - and enjoy sunshine, music, flora and fauna?
• Why not journal your thoughts or even free-write (no censorship or prejudgment, no editing as you jot), and thus clarify your feelings, prayers, concerns, gratitude..?

Remember:
Whatever is going on around you, you alone control what happens within you; and you are so very worthy of prioritizing the wellbeing of your mind, body, soul, spirit, and social sphere.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

No April Foolery

Today is "April Fools Day."  The origins of the day in which joke and hoax alike are commonplace still evade certainty.  There's much wackiness to be heard and seen today, 1 April 2020, but much of it is far from funny.  Wisdom and mirth in tandem may well be our best offense/defense simultaneously.

The irony is that we need humor, even as we honor the recommendations of those whose expertise makes them essential to the cause.  Laughter, indeed, does the heart good like a medicine.  Resilient minds, bodies, spirits, and relationships all have humor in common.

The Bible mentions laughter and joy often in various contexts.  Here are a few such verses:

Old Testament

“A merry heart does good like a medicine: but a broken spirit dries the bones.”  Proverbs 17:22

“Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.”  Psalm 47:1

“God has a smile on His face.”  Psalm 42:5

“God, who sits in Heaven, laughs!”  Psalm 2:4

“He that is of a merry heart has a continual feast.”  Proverbs 15:15

“I commend mirth.”  Ecclesiastes 8:15

“I will turn their mourning into joy, I will comfort them and give them gladness for sorrow.”  Jeremiah 31:13

“Let the shield exult and everything in it. Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy.”  Psalm 96:12

“Let your heart be merry.”  Judges 19:6

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth; break into joyous song and sing praises.”  Psalm 98:4

“The pastures of the wilderness overflow, the hills gird themselves with joy; The meadows clothe themselves with flocks, the valleys deck themselves with grain, they shout and sing together for joy.”   Psalm 65:12-13

“Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then it was said among the nations, the Lord has done great things for them.”  Psalm 126:2 

“You have turned my mourning into dancing; You have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.”  Psalm 30:11

“You shall go out in joy, and be led back in peace; the mountains and hills before you shall burst into song, and the trees of the field shall clap their hands.”  Isaiah 55:12

New Testament

“Although you have not seen Jesus, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy.”  Peter 1:8

“Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh!”  Luke 6:21

“But in so far as you are sharing Christ’s sufferings, so that you may also be glad and shout for joy when his glory is revealed.”  Peter 4:13

“I have said these things to you,” Jesus said to his disciples, “so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.”  John 15:11

“The angel said to Mary:  You will have joy and gladness and many will rejoice at the birth of your son.”  Luke 1:14

“The angels said to the shepherds:  Do not be afraid, for see – I am bringing good news of great joy for all the people.”  Luke 2:10

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 18:3

“When the wise men saw that the star had stopped over the place where the Christ child lay, they were overwhelmed with joy.”  Matthew 2:10

Jotting with Johnna:

• How might you find and foster healing humor in yourself and your shared sphere?  Even an unsolicited smile or a friendly wave (especially when combined) can work wonders in the current state of circumstance!  You can even do that effectively from behind windows or windshields.  Post a silly selfie, maybe?  Other ideas?
• What jokes could you "dust off" for lifting up other folks via email, letters, social media, or a really precious phone call?  Bonus for the phone call:  laughter shared seems to be multiplied!
• Have you experienced or witnessed something funny recently you could share?  
• Where might you find more sources and outlets of humor while we face the relatively dark news being pushed by media?
• When can you "distance" yourself from the news long enough to relax and realize the good stuff?  Who else might benefit from the reminder to detach from the droning television and plug into the positive?  

Remember:
You've survived one hundred percent of the difficult times and rough days you've faced.  Practice wisdom, take care of those near you, and - for Heaven's sake - laugh!

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Wellness WHEREVER You Are

Ours is a situation unlike times past - not so much the quarantine or even rationing of some household items, but in other ways, ironically because of "progress."  Globally, most of us have become accustomed to a level of convenience.  Naturally this level varies relative to several factors, but anyone reading these words can likely relate to the concept.  Now so many of these levels of liberty have been shifted significantly enough to raise the eyebrows of even the most level headed optimists among us.  

As I insist via the mission of this blog, I don't think anyone has a wellness solution that fits everyone equally or even effectively.  That said, I'd like to offer a little homespun wisdom for consideration as we revise our wellness scripts as relevant to the current state of the world.

This image is my own - feel free to save and share!

I've composed this acronym image for a reminder of things we should all really have as a regular practice anyway.  It's not revolutionary, but I think it is inspired, and I hope you can find something in it that brings hope.  Feel free to share this.  ScriptedWellness.com is not a monetized blog - I am doing this for the sake of anyone who happens upon it, sharing whatever I can because I believe it is all given for that sake.  If it helps one person, especially if you are that person, then it's all worth the time I've put into it.  

Be healthy WHEREVER you are (with informational hyperlinks):

Wash your hands.  This one's obvious and I find the need for reminders onerously redundant.

Hydrate.  Simply swapping one daily beverage for some water can do your body good. 

Exercise.  Gentle movement is key:  stretch, dance, walk (especially outdoors), light calisthenics. 

Rest.  Sleep is essential for resilient health of mind and body.

Eat your greens.  Everything from broccoli to seaweed, kale to cucumbers - just do it!

Visit forgotten passtimes.  Word search, crossword or jigsaw puzzles, jump rope, hopscotch...

Encourage one another.  Turn off the news and turn up the smiles - stress is an immunity killer.  

Resist undue panic.  Even while preparing for the worst, you can defiantly expect the best.

Jotting with Johnna:

• Whom do you know - especially considering elderly or other high-risk folks - you could offer to pick up groceries or deliver meals in the coming days?
• How many numbers on your phone have not been dialed in ages?  Maybe this is a great opportunity to catch up with a few of those people.  Make a list, make a call, mail a letter...
• When was the last time you played board games, cards, dominoes, or put together a jigsaw puzzle?  Perhaps you could dust off the Scrabble board or play a game of Twister with your kids.
• What unfinished projects - both work and play kinds of projects - are you now available to attack?
• Where might you take your dog for a walk in full sunlight, now that you have time to do so?

Remember:

There are many creative ways to keep your head and your health.  You are worthy of the time to be proactive in these pursuits; and you likely know at least one person whose life will be far less isolated and lonely if you include them, even if it's a simple phone call or handwritten letter.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Perceptive Distortion

Two sets of eyes gaze at the same painting; but behind the lenses and lashes, two quite diverse messages are derived from the same visual representation.  An accident investigator takes the testimonies of a number of eye witnesses, those whose firsthand accounts would inform the powers of safety and justice - each story a bit askance of its fellows.  A couple recounts tales from their recent vacation, one correcting the other lovingly, met with surprise-adjacent reactions from either teller.  Why is this - that we can experience and encounter life and its elements so diversely? 

I was thinking of this because I'm still new in my glasses-wearing, and now contact-lens-wearing life.  Also, the set of eyes whose stance is often alongside my own just had his sight rechecked yesterday.  Thirdly, and the reason I've finally found myself at the keyboard again in order to ponder the perceptive distortions between people is a painting - a parrot painting.

Five years ago this very month, I went to one of those charming establishments so popular in recent times - a paint and sip place - with two of my dearest friends.  The painting on this particular evening (also my first) was a parrot with a slice of lime in its beak, perched atop a margarita with a sea sunset in the background.  The three of us, along with the couple dozen strangers also in attendance, all had the same set of instructions, the same access to paints and brushes; yet every last bird seemed to be "of a different feather."  Mine looked like some sort of ethereal Phoenix-parrot in a tropical setting, while my friends both painted far more solid, bold lines.  Each of us began with a blank canvas upon which each of us crafted our own interpretation with varying pressures and scale. 

In case it wasn't obvious, mine's on the right.

Yesterday, in a Salvation Army store, with the aforementioned set-of-eyes-having companion, I spied the same painting (in someone else's hand, of course).  It naturally made me laugh as I recalled my experience with fondness.  Tonight, my own fowl-adorned-canvas (believe me, it's accurate on many fronts to reference it as such) is in the front seat of my vehicle, waiting to be delivered to my unsuspecting companion.  I'm hoping it will bring a bit of comedic relief to what has been a trying day from his perspective.

As I went to place the libation-perched-parrot into my conveyance, I heard a chirp to the right of my gate.  Shifting my eyes, I saw a round-breasted robin, the first sign of spring, I'm told.  The robins all look so robust at the beginning of the season, before the turf-wars begin with the other territorial songbirds.  Soon enough, however, the bright plumage and proud stance will bear evidence of moving violations, battles lost and won.  This is another way the same visage shifts - over time, whether it's our fickle memories or the matter of facts that literally change the view.  Either way, we are here to behold it all and calibrate our individual lenses so that we can see with greater clarity, using that sense of vision to align with the art of life.  We each come to see things as we do for a number of reasons, including personal experience, faith background, access to differing levels of information, academic scholarship, socioeconomic status, and any combination of variables too lengthy a list to compile here.  While we may not have the whole picture, we are each owners and onerous of the distortions with which we form and revise our perception of the world. 

Jotting with Johnna:

• What have you noticed you see issues and items differently than you once did?
• How did your perception shift, or was it an entire paradigm which altered your views?
• Where do you need greater focus or maybe to "pan out" to ensure you perceive accurately the world around you?
• Who might be helpful to discuss such sight-correction?
• Do you have someone with whom you can ensure accountability to stay aligned with truth?

Remember:
To clarify, I'm not writing political commentary.  That's certainly not the sort of thing I want to do in this space.  That stated, a quip oft attributed to Anaïs Nin reads, “We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”  You have the power at any moment to clean your attitudinal lenses as needed.  Especially in an election year, given the vast number of information sources and devices, it can be difficult to see beyond the haze of agenda-spun stories; but a bit of humility and consideration for those who see things in another way might just help us reach common ground where it may be had.  Like the robins, we may get a bit worn before the season changes, but it doesn't mean we cannot show our best colors in the process.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

It's Elementary, My Dear Wellness Scribe

We've been gathering clues to discover the chazown - the vision - for life.  It's unique to each person; yet Craig Groeschel's program, as described in the book and on the resource-packed website, provides guidance for the quest.  This post will conclude the exploration we began a few days ago, but the book holds much which makes it worth procuring and perusing for yourself.  This is really just an introduction, an opportunity for introspection I hope will foster further delving on your part.

Image sourced via Google, un-secure site destination

Having explored the three circles, you'll know by now what the author/pastor means when he writes:

• Your core values are the handful of values that you are most passionate about and stood for above all else.
• Your spiritual gifts are your special abilities, the things you do noticeably well - and love to do.
• Your past experiences are the events and seasons in your past (both pleasant and unpleasant) that have shaped who you are today and prepared you for God's plan for your future.

The place these three overlapping circles of self-evaluation and godly revelation converge is a "sweet spot" in which all those life dimensions operate at their greatest strength.  A few questions below will help to dig for the jewels.  For now, we'll press forward.

Groeschel warns that this truth-finding mission is not for wimps, urging to expect discomfort because "God's vision for you is bigger than you can imagine and impossible for you to do on your own."  This reminds me of Henry Blackaby's reference to God-sized tasks in Experiencing God.  God intends to receive glory from your joining Him in His work; and that cannot happen when you're fully capable in your own power and with your own resources to do it all.

Because this mission God has for you is vast in comparison to your own power, wisdom, and resources, it is wise to seek counsel as you embark on defining and fulfilling that purpose.  God will not contradict His Word, the intercession of fellow believers is priceless, and God has already facilitated your access to wise believers whose guidance can be crucial - especially when it comes to being accountable.

Groeschel defines a mission statement as a "one sentence version of God's chazown for your life expressed in words that greatly motivate you to pursue it for Him."  You can start with a lengthy, rambling draft, of course, and then revise and reduce it to a concentration that is powerful and strong, relevant to you.  Those questions I mentioned earlier - the ones you'll find below - will really help with that first draft.

Intention and vision and mission statements are great things unless they are as far as you get.  Putting the God-sized task into a plan of action galvanizes and catalyzes dreams into destiny.  We are to walk by faith (Galatians 5), and some of that faith is creating a plan for moving into the mission (Proverbs 14:22-23; 33:11; Matthew 16:21).  The author mentions the efficacy of short term goals which contribute progress toward the long-term outcomes, citing the concept of SMART goals.  While goals are helpful structure, excessive worry over this step can lead to actions becoming drowned in intent; so take the very next step, insisting the power of your faith over the grip of fear.

Finally, and essentially, the spokes of your proverbial wheels must be balanced and strong for the long haul - a practice which requires vigilant and willful attention.  Those spokes deal with:

• Your time with God
• Your relationship with other people in your life 
• Your financial stewardship and wellbeing
• Your physical fitness
• Your work life - whatever that is that occupies your time, whether it's paid or volunteer

Jotting with Johnna:
It's finally time for those questions posed by pastor Groeschel - consider, pray about, and seek wise counsel as to these questions.

• What have I always considered important?
• What values permeate me to my core?
• What have I always seemed especially gifted to do?
• What have my experiences revealed about me and my purpose?
• If money were inconsequential, and I could do anything I desired for the rest of my life, what would I do?
• Aside from providing love, care, and ministry to those I cherish, what's the foremost thing I believe God wants to accomplish in this life through my action?

Remember:
You were born on purpose with purpose.  It will be outside your own strength - it'll even stretch you - but you are uniquely gifted with talent, experience, and a set of values to accomplish that big vision with God's backing for His glory.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Pit Stop

While I know I've been in a book for several posts now, I'm diverting to refuel and change tires, a pit stop of sorts.  The reasons include a wondrously wacky canine at my feet whose paws just walked alongside me to the home I'm selling down the street.  Also, the book I have been extrapolating for you Scribes happens to be in my bedroom, and I'm in the study at the moment.  Yeah, weak reasons, but sometimes those hints come from Higher Office; and I've learned to listen even if it sounds silly.

Image source:  https://i8.ventures/case-study-the-ferrari-pit-stop-and-the-value-of-shared-goals/

Last year, I was writing lines as they came to me in a simple, inexpensive, week-at-a-glance planner.  I wrote about it in this post.  It is from these scribbles from which I hope to scratch out a bit of wisdom and wit that may stimulate your wellness script-writing.

Old things must pass away so new things can grow.  I spent some time on Monday working on the aforementioned former abode.  I have quite a bit of garden on that tiny bit of landscape, and all of it is perennial.  There's spearmint I've planted around my mailbox, which is such a verdant green and boasts some sweet pollinators in the heat of summer, when many other sources have begun to go dormant.  When dormancy is near, I trim the spearmint back a little and then let it protect the tender new leaves of gloriously aromatic mint as they come up from their winter slumber.  Monday, I ensured sun exposure for those same tender sprigs as spring teases at my imagination.

We do well to release ways of thinking and being in the world when those ways prove themselves faulty, obsolete, or harmful.  As so eloquently put in Hebrews 12:1, let's "cast off" whatever is holding us back, hindering progress, or causing us to stumble in running our own race!  Compost is always intentional and it's often an inconvenient and smelly process; but organic compost causes garden vegetables to thrive.  Composing the "new things" of the garden variety and the glorious all the same requires giving up what is beyond or behind us to be relegated as potential soil.  If you read yesterday's post, you'll find this thought familiar.  Indeed, composing healthy new things is best executed in the compost of the past, clearing away the dried brambles to ensure that light gets into the new things God has planned (Jeremiah 29:11-13; Isaiah 43:18-19).

I've moved from one home to another.  I don't live there anymore; but I'm grateful for the place where I got healing - the physical address and the spiritual access alike.  It's time for another dweller's life to happen there, person(s) for whom I am preparing the place in that vacancy.  What once was is no more; and with thanksgiving, I release that home to the market.  It won't be helpful to keep gripping tightly to things which no longer contribute to my growth or my good; and in fact would be detrimental.

Jotting with Johnna:

• To what might you be holding on, and why?
• Is there a way to remember and reverently release that person, place, pursuit, or possession?
• How might your load be lighter - light enough to run the race set before you - without that weight?

Remember:
Sometimes it is wise to stop carrying something simply because it is heavy and no longer contributes to the abundant life won for you by Christ.  You are so very worthy of the act of releasing that which keeps you from living that life - it came at great price. 

In the words of Jesus, Himself:

"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy.
I came that they may have life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows]."
John 10:10
https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/JHN.10.10  

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

The Past is Part of the Path

Days ago, I began digging into Chazown, a book by author and pastor, Craig Groeschel of Life.Church.  The posts involved are in succession, each setting the stage for the next and so on; so if you're new here, please visit this post first.  In the book whose mission it is to assist believers in finding their chazown - their vision - after the composition of one's own epitaph, the next begins explaining the three circles, beginning with the circle of core values, explained in this post.  The next circle is exploration of what gifts and talents one has, as explained here.  The final circle deals with past experiences and how they can help reveal what God has designed the individual to accomplish.

What happens to people and what they do with what happens to them determines the trajectory of the remainder of their days.  As such, while one might stiffen at the idiom, "everything happens for a reason," we can safely assert that we are able to find meaning and purpose to galvanize us when we are willing to allow God to shift our perspective and see the potential.  It shouldn't take long for a reflective person to look back on his or her life and see where events that seemed random at the time were more obviously catalysts on an individual or collective basis.  This applies to both the pleasurable outcomes and the painful ones.

Groeschel asserts that, "your past often holds the key to unlock your future."  Grief and loss can foster empathy, wisdom, and compassionate effort.  The ability to provide comfort relevant to each loss is not to be underestimated.  Painful experiences change us in unique ways, like a chisel creating a masterpiece and a mess all around it all at once.  With what I've personally experienced, I can find joy in the junkyard as easily as on a playground - its resilience and strength I could never have known had it not been for the walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Image source:  https://www.magiceye.com/portfolio-items/pegusus/

Groeschel used the "magic eye pictures" to illustrate the point that a shift in focus makes all the difference.  These pictures seem to be nothing but random colors and shapes on a canvas; but with the proper focus, a depth of meaning can be conceived with the same eyes, now opened anew.  Ask God to give you eyes to perceive His purpose in both the good and bad - even the ugly - pictures of your life. 

Life can only be lived forward; and while the past is a precious resource from which to learn and grow, we will never be able to run the race with perseverance (Hebrews 12:1-3) if we cling to what no longer is.

Jotting with Johnna:

• What do your painful and your pleasurable/positive experiences have in common (or in stark contrast)?
• What do you think your experiences have done within you to prepare you for future pursuits?
• How have you changed - and should your response be challenged afresh?
• What potent experiences (hurtful and helpful alike) might God want to use?
• Regarding the next chapter of your life story, what possible title(s) come to mind as you consider the past behind you and the path before you?

Remember:
Notice all kind of experiences, denoting blessings and obstacles you have faced.  You are so very worthy of the vision quest which will reveal their use in your future.  Romans 8:28-29 encourages all believers that God does indeed work all things to the good of those who love Him and are called according to His good purpose.  That's me and that's you; but that's not always in the timing we would see favorably.  One of my favorite movie quotes of all time is from The Shawshank Redemption (1994).  Morgan Freeman's character, Red, tells Tim Robbins' character, Andy, "...get busy living or get busy dying."  Let the past be what it is where it is, let God redeem it; and let's get busy living.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Viewpoint and Vision

In a previous post, I began exploring a book by pastor/author Craig Groeschel, Chazown:  A Different Way To See Your Life (2006).  On Groundhog Day, we considered what might become our epitaphs, beginning with the end in mind.  Next, we introduced the three circles:  core values, spiritual gifts, and past experiences.  The convergence of these overlapping circles is likely to reveal the chazown, or vision for the remainder of one's days.  Core values were contemplated, and now we'll look at spiritual gifts.

Image source:  https://www.changeview.org/3-powerful-steps-to-find-vision/

There are gifts in my living room, still wrapped in Christmas gift paper, bows attached, just resting there around my little Christmas tree.  Yes, I know it's February; but the intended recipient of the gifts has been overwhelmed at work and it's delayed our gift exchange to nearly Valentine's Day.  I don't mind the wee tree there with its Peanuts-cartoon-themed ornaments still in place; but as I consider gifts, it's the moment of transfer that makes the actual gifting valid.  Also, I am excited just imagining his reaction when the wrapping falls away from each item, carefully curated just for him. 

We must realize and actively receive most gifts, and I imagine God's delight when we are finally on the precipice of pursuing the reasons those gifts are chosen specifically for each of us.  Until we utilize them, they are merely latent talents, and many will actually atrophy for lack of use - use it or lose it, as they say.  The talents in Matthew 25;14-30, Jesus' parable of the talents, are a form of currency; but I think it is fitting that Jesus used the particular measure of wealth that He knew would eventually show up in English translations with the same word, talent.

We are uniquely equipped to fulfill the vision for which we were created.  Romans 12:6-8 lists a few of these spiritual gifts, stressing the imperative to use them.  They come straight from God, almost like a form of software that must be activated.  1 Peter 4:10-11 again admonishes believers must use their gifts, adding that they will benefit others as well as glorify God and draw others to Him.  1 Corinthians 12 & 13 further explain this giftedness and the appropriate attitude with which to employ them, with love.  Your awareness and application of your artistry, prowess, interests, and areas of strength will yield great insight as to your own chazown.

Jotting with Johnna:

• Do you know your primary spiritual gifts?  There are many spiritual gift inventory lists and quizzes, including one on the Chazown program website.  
• What do you enjoy and look forward to doing?
• What do you do that seems to significantly impact those around you?
• What do you believe in your heart you can do but haven't attempted yet?
• What gifts do you have that you're not currently putting to use?

Remember: 
You are gifted with something that can change the world, whether on a local or global scale; but the gifts you have are not meant to remain wrapped and tucked away in a corner of your life.  Rip open the package and look for ways to utilize each gift as only you are able.  The world is waiting for what you have to offer!

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

Mind What Matters

What begun in a previous post continues in this one.  I'm exploring the book, Chazown:  A Different Way to See Your Life.  Having planned one's epitaph, then Craig Groeschel says the next step toward a chazown (personally relevant vision/purpose) is determining what goes in the "three circles."

Core Values

Spiritual Gifts

Past Experiences

Image source:  https://www.websystemer.no/five-steps-to-ethical-ai-for-businesses

In my career with the United States Air Force, one of the first things I was taught is one of the central themes around which I was to operate in and out of uniform:  the USAF Core Values. 

• Integrity First
• Service Before Self
• Excellence in All We Do

These core values keep us strong, safe, and steady through all manner of circumstance.  We each rely on one another to practice the core values as stalwart wingmen on and off base.  This set of values or guiding principles for personal and professional conduct work on an individual and collective basis.

Each person has something drawing him or her toward action.  We each have personal priorities, passionate pursuits, and things we would do if money was immaterial to the decision.  Those things are informed by our core values.  Some values are moral convictions, often informed by our spiritual upbringing and understanding.  Others came to us through life experiences, watching what happens when a certain set of standards is met or unmet.  Aforementioned pastor and author Craig notes, "what you cherish at your core is what you aim at with your life."

Jotting with Johnna:

• What causes light you up internally?
• What do you believe strongly should be upheld?
• What thrills your heart to do or dream of doing?

Remember: 
You are "fearfully and wonderfully made" for more than mere existence (Psalm 139), imbued with a creative mind and engineered with a heartfelt passion which draws you toward action.  You are worthy of the steps it will take to fulfill those hardwired aspects of your calling.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

20200202 Casting Shadows

It's Groundhog Day, the second day of the second month of 2020.  Apparently, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, indicating an early spring (quick cheer from here).  The way I've written the date since my days on the flightline working on F-16C/D model fighter jets [YYYYMMDD] makes it a fun date to my pattern-loving mind:  20200202.  If you flipped the digits, they'd still be 20200202; it's a palindrome date.  Yep, I'm a total nerd, and I'm fine with that - it's part of my own unique wiring, my divinely designed framework made "just so" to equip me for God's purpose in my life - my chazown.

Image source:  https://www.foxnews.com

Chazown is a Hebrew term translated as:  vision, dream, or revelation; and it's the title of the book to which I'll be referring today and in the next posts which follow.  Specifically, the title is, Chazown:  A Different Way to See Your Life (2006) by Craig Groeschel, senior pastor of LifeChurch.  The key verse for the book and its accompanying resources is Proverbs 29:18, because without chazown, without vision, without purpose, we creatures fail to thrive, miss out on the joy and peace provided by a meaningful dream, die even as we live...we perish.  That's my own wacky interpretation of the verse, but I think you get the point.

In the first chapter, Groeschel describes the awkward difficulties people often have when talking about death, especially the death of a loved one.  I've seen this far too many times up close; but my family has buried so many in such a short span, that I've developed quite a skill at articulating emotions, experiences, and all manner of encounters with grief and loss.  Practice makes proficient, I suppose.  Thing is, pastors have these conversations often with those whose deceased were difficult to describe, their lives a blur of activity by no acclivity to indicate a lasting legacy.

The first task suggested by the pastor/author is to write your own epitaph.  My mind went on a few larks when I read this, I confess.  The first is not nearly as noble as the last...  Tombstone Pizza commercials from the 1980s and 1990s posed the question, "What do you want on your tombstone?"  Now that my frivolous tangent is confessed, the other hailed to a course I took during my military career on the Covey material, Seven Habits, the second of which is to "Begin with the End in Mind." 

I don't want to live any default story this world will pen for me in the void left by my lack of intentionality; just as I believe about wellness, I also believe we each have the opportunity to write - or at least influence - our own life scripts.  There are things we'd probably all love to edit, mistakes and mishaps and misery we would expeditiously "white out" or "backspace" over (remember White Out, anyone); but those past experiences are for a future post exploring this book, so we'll let that stay there and move forward...  In order to facilitate this beginning mindful of one's own ending, the composition of an epitaph, I'll present questions the pastor/author utilized as he wrapped up chapter one.

Jotting with Johnna:

• Consider these for yourself:
• The thing I placed highest priority on in my life...
• Folks who knew me comment that I "stood for" this...
• I impacted my sphere of influence and the world at large in these ways...
• God received glory from this action, attitude, or attribute...
• Others perceived my love for them because I did or said these things...
• When I'm "on the other side," I hope God will say "well done" because of this...

Remember:
Your story is still being written; and you are at the proverbial keyboard with no [Backspace] button or correction tape or [Ctrl/Alt/Delete], because life can only ever always be lived forward, whether you choose to focus ahead of you or avert your gaze.  You are so very worthy of the blessings which come from a life thoughtfully and intentionally lived; and it starts with a mindful contemplation of the end.

What do you really want on your tombstone?

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

12 of 12: A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts

It's a full dozen now - the final post in a series of twelve on the original Twelve Steps as applied to general wellness.  If you missed the first of twelve, you can find it here, along with links and context to which I refer in the other posts of the series.

Step Twelve

"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, 

we tried to carry this message to other compulsive overeaters, 

and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

Image source:  https://www.rtor.org

Modified for use in Overeaters Anonymous (OA), and offshoot of the original twelve step program, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), this is the final step to examine.  Each person's life is unique, but most are relatable in some way, especially considering mutual weaknesses.  Sharing one's story of recovery can empower and encourage both the speaker and hearer alike.  There's something about shared struggles that can make folks feel less isolated and more equipped for recovery - more hope.

Advantages to sharing stories abound:  renewal of one's own resolve, perception of meaning and purpose in one's struggles, and generally making the world a kinder place for those beginning the journey of recovery quickly come to mind.  Humans are inspired by those who overcome, especially when the obstacles vanquished look much like our own.  As social creatures, the esprit de corps (translated from French to mean "group spirit") found among those with common goals generates a sense of belonging, of safety, and of determination to accomplish both the aims of the individual and the success of the collective at once.

Since I've never been part of a Twelve Step based organization, I can best relate to this esprit de corps with my military career and life as a retired service member.  Unified purpose and individual effort keep a group strong.  Despite our apparent rivalries, this spirit of comradeship extends across all branches of the military regardless of other factors of diversity.  We all took an oath to serve, no matter how we came to service.  Each of us had to individually overcome many things to endure rigorous training, regardless of length of service or the nature thereof.  Those of us who have left home to fight for freedom on foreign soil have another level of mutual regard - one that can only be earned.  This is one reason I'm a Life Member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW); my brothers and sisters in arms at my local VFW Post and across the country have, by definition, served overseas.  When it comes to life post deployment, we "get it" like others cannot, and we support one another as a family of choice.  When one of us shares a story, the others share the hurt &/or humor in it with respect and reverence for the experience of the sharer, (even while we banter), and we offer relevant service to military families and civilians alike.

Jotting with Johnna:

• Whatever you've overcome in life, you have a story and there's someone out there who needs to hear it; with whom might you share your story today?
• How might you ready yourself to share your personal testimony of recovery?  Perhaps make a list of bullet points to help guide you through the process concisely and enter it into your smartphone or carry it in your wallet.
• Is there someone who comes to mind right now you think might benefit from the wisdom you've gleaned along the way?  How might you contact them and start the conversation that might just be key to helping that person toward a healthier tomorrow?

Remember:
Although it may not be evident at the time, we can find purpose even in the most dreadful hardships when we find a way to help others.  You are worthy of an audience for your own redemption story, and the recipient of that testimony will appreciate it.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

11 of 12: A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts

This is nearly the final post of a series of twelve.  If it's the first you're seeing of it, please visit 1 of 12 and find links and context to which I'll refer in this post.

Step Eleven

"Sought through prayer and meditation 

to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, 

praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

Image source:  https://weheartit.com/entry/46083003

Prayer involves petition for the needs of oneself and others, praise in acknowledgment of the mercy and grace of God, and pursuit of God's will and guidance, even as we confess our lack and avail ourselves of His love.  Meditation is an act of focused attention on the personhood and principles as revealed in Holy Writ.  Meditation looks as different for each person as does prayer.  Methodology is not so important as the mission it supports and the motivating Object of our worship and devotion.  These are simply rough working definitions I've devised, but for the prospect of recovery, and the "conscious contact with God," they'll suffice.  Prayer and meditation need not seem mystical or far-away - they're communication devices, and gifts from God.

Model prayers are available from the Lord Himself and many of His followers.  Here are links to a few you might recognize:

The Lord's Prayer

The Peace Prayer

The Serenity Prayer

St. Theresa's Prayer

Various Options

I personally find my prayer is more focused when I have a pen in hand, sometimes writing out my prayer as if it was a magical letter delivered as it is written.  My mind doesn't wander so quickly that way; and when it does, I can jot into the margin any stray thoughts vying for my attention.  Conversely, I find a form of repetitive movement is more effective for me as a physical state during meditation than stillness, which can be physically challenging.  I have, however, learned the value and the practice of stillness in meditation.  I've also learned that, in the stillness, I am made to face myself and my sphere as it is, raw and real.  That's not so comfortable either, but it can be a catalyst for greater change.

Jotting with Johnna:

• When will you make the time today to pray and meditate?  There's no minimum time that "qualifies" as authentic - simply the intention and action - so why not decide now to do it?
• Where might you go - within your home or elsewhere - to find quiet and solitude in which to pray and meditate?
• How will you make sacred the space and time you devote to this practice?

Remember:
God has opened a channel over which you and I have access to Him.  What a great and wondrous gift!

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

10 of 12: A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts

I'm so glad you found this post!  Please note that it's one of twelve in a series - if you haven't seen the previous ones I published on the Twelve Steps, please visit 1 of 12.  That's where you'll find context and links to the resources referenced throughout the series. 

Step Ten

"Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it."

Image source:  https://dissolve.com/stock-photo/Detour-sign-royalty-free-image/101-D1028-20-698

Any time I get behind the wheel of my car, I realize there's the possibility I may need detours to keep me headed toward my destination safely.  It would be foolish to stubbornly refuse to alter my course when there are potential dangers to myself and others.  Detours aren't my favorite thing, but they're necessary if I intend to make progress.  Step Ten carries the momentum of the previous steps, reminding the Stepper that the walk forward is sure to require amends along the new path s/he has chosen for life in recovery.  Step Ten is the repeated application of all those preceding it.  It is establishment of a new pattern of forward progress that acknowledges one's humanity and recognizes that there will be "bumps in the road." 

Integrity in this Step shifts the power away from defects and the related shame, guilt, and defeat they once had.  It's a far more efficient vehicle that is unburdened with the weight of one's weaknesses and the damage they cause.  When folks are vigilant about their self-evaluation and promptly admit [and rectify when possible], they become more aware of the penchant for missteps as they arise and more apt to sidestep doing harm to others.  It's when we arrogantly dismiss the hurts we inflict that the defect grows and our resolve diminishes.  Therefore, keeping continued watch over thoughts, attitudes, feelings, and patterns of behavior is as helpful in the journey as incessantly watching road conditions, signs, and fellow travelers is on the roadways.

Jotting with Johnna:

• Are you worrying, ruminating, or obsessing over anything?  Such unproductive behaviors invite shame, guilt, and fear to the driver's seat; and only one Driver has true claim to that position.  Write out what's bothering you, give it voice and then do what is necessary to rectify the situation.
• Do you notice you're nursing patterns of behavior and thought which hail to your previous way of being?  Relapse is a common part of recovery; but it can only defeat you if you refuse to Step out of it.
• What actions have you taken today to curb former ways of being?  Take time to write down your "wins" and acknowledge your growth.  

Remember:
A driver will never reach his/her destination without harm to self and others unless s/he is willing to watch for signs, road hazards, and complacency behind the wheel.  You and the others in your life are so very worthy of the peace and calm that is generated by watchful maintenance along the way.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well. 

9 of 12: A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts

Hello!  I'm glad you're here.  If this is your first time on ScriptedWellness.com or your first in a week or two, you'll want to go back and begin with the post, 1 of 12:  A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts, the first in the series on the Twelve Steps as interpreted for promotion of wellness in all areas.  That's where you'll find hyperlinks to resources and references - if you find that something isn't cited in this post, it's because it is cited elsewhere in this series.

Image source:  https://www.christiandrugrehab.com

Step Nine 

"Made direct amends to such people 

[all persons we had harmed] 

whenever possible,

except when to do so would injure them or others."  

I imagine this one is a truly difficult step.  I cannot imagine, even as I write about these steps, walking through them; and I have deep admiration for those who are actually living the Program in its many manifestations.  Those dealing with vexations of all manner, from alcoholism, porn addiction, anger management issues, and even the compulsive overeating that Bill B. worked through in Overeaters Anonymous before he wrote Compulsive Overeater (1981).  

Note:  I've never participated in any twelve step program, so my writing on the topic is not subject to my own experiences, nor have I ever known firsthand anyone who experienced the transformation these groups can bring.  I'm simply examining this script from an academic, and admittedly hypothetical standpoint, to see what scraps we can glean to weave into our own individual wellness scripts.  Now that I've arrived at the ninth in the set of twelve, however, I think most of us could benefit from the process, myself included.

Step Eight has members compile a list of those harmed by the recovering Stepper, and Step Nine is the fruition of that list - making direct amends.  The writer cautions against expectations of forgiveness and reconciliation, as many humans would rather cling to resentment than relinquish their rights to retaliate.  The truth is that this step isn't for them, it's for the recovering person, and we must allow people to be wherever they are in their own grief and growth processes, including ourselves.  

I suspect, struggling with a fear of conflict myself, that many get stuck here, anxious over the inevitable confrontation inherent in such conversations.  Fear never healed anyone, though.  It must take immeasurable courage to go to those whose festering wounds may indeed explode all over your fragile heart.  Bill B. encourages, "You make amends, not for what you are going to get from the person you have harmed, not from any motive at all except that you want to be of maximum service to God and man.  You can be of service only if you are free from those past wreckages."

Some on the list may be deceased, or so far estranged that reaching them, even in this connected age, is rendered impossible if not impractical.  For advice on dealing with difficult folks, even dangerous ones, you can find articles as easily as you found this one.  They are quite well researched and contain great wisdom.  As for those with whom you cannot have dialogue, I have a couple of suggestions as Jotting with Johnna is replaced by Jump into Action with Johnna for this step.

Jump into Action with Johnna:

• Write a letter to the harmed person and then read it aloud as if the person was indeed present.  Once you've read the letter in its entirety, rip it to bits and imagine tearing up an invoice, debt paid.
• Pull up an empty chair and pretend the person is present in the seat beside you.  You could even place a picture or a stuffed animal or some talisman to represent that person's essence.  Pour your heart out, and when you're finished, replace the furniture and any symbolic things, and consider the matter closed. 
• Make a donation to charity in the name of that person, one relevant to them and their own beliefs.
• Plant a tree or purchase a houseplant to nurture as a way of making amends to the harmed person.
• Volunteer your time in a cause that would be helpful to that person, something they would appreciate and that you otherwise would not feel led to do.  Get those hands dirty as a means of cleaning up your life.

Remember:  

Not all conversations are easy, but the necessary ones will reap a harvest.  You are so very worthy of witnessing the harvest of your hard work, planting seeds of amends, weeding thorns away from precious hearts, and crafting a better tomorrow atop the ashes of yesterday.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.

8 of 12: A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts

I'm glad to see you here!  In case you're new to this blog or new to this series, this one's eight in a series of twelve posts.  The first of the series, 1 of 12:  A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts, contains links, references, and context to which I'll allude in this one; as such, please revisit earlier posts in this series for those resources.  Many of those are also linked here, and others added; but if you fail to find it here, you can find it in previous posts.

Step Eight:  

Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Image source:  https://www.worfolkanxiety.com/blog/why-you-should-write-a-list-of-your-positive-qualities

This one could use a disclaimer, I believe as a trained therapist, so here's my two cents on this step.  Relationships with other humans are not without complication and harm.  Ideally, everyone would have proper motives and perspectives with which to conduct themselves.  This is not always the case, however, and I've had to learn that firsthand and then make the painful choice to surgically remove people whose attachment to me was unhealthy.  Narcissists take the removal as another notch in their martyrdom belt, and as such, may deem themselves slighted because their access is now denied.  That is a manipulated and carefully curated view of their behavior, and further contact with such a person is not helpful to either party.  Narcissists will be convinced, and convince others if possible, that their behavior is purely altruistic and the only fallible humans are the ones outside his/her skin.  Make one perceived false move, whatever your own motive, and the narcissist in your life will pounce on it like a panther and never retract those claws, only perpetuating the codependent, poisonous cycle in which s/he thrives.

If you have had to make the agonizing trek away from someone who is toxic to your mental, physical, emotional, fiscal, or spiritual wellness, I believe that person is best left to another type of list.  Sometimes that is the "best possible relations with every human being we know," as a line in our current Wellness Script terms it.

Now, back to that current Script from which I'm operating, Compulsive Overeater, 1981, by Bill B., founded upon the Twelve Steps and the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) co-founder, Bill W.  Bill B's recovery story took place through Overeaters Anonymous (OA), an interpretation of those twelve steps for use with problematic food relationships.  As mentioned earlier, you can find reference links in earlier posts within this series.

Bill B. quotes the AA tome, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions on its definition of harm for use with step eight:  practically, harm is "the result of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people."  The reason I mention harm to fiscal wellness in my disclaimer on this step is that improper behaviors with money, credit, or similar resources tends to point to other aspects of danger in a relationship.  Sometimes we cannot see something until it's in black and white (and red all over), but it's harder to ignore ruined credit and repeated demands for financial rescue which doesn't lead to reciprocity in any form.

A starting place for making the list is the inventory one does in Step Four, as the character defects listed there will bring to mind those impacted by - or harmed by - those defects.

Jotting with Johnna:

• Reading about Step Eight, who comes to mind?
• Write out not only the names, but the specific ways you may have inflicted harm - don't roll around in self-loathing, but be honest and concise with yourself about this.
• A couple of the hyperlinks above will deliver worksheets both for Step Eight and Step Four to help with this process.  Avail yourself of resources that will assist you in this task, because you'll need the list for the next step.

Remember:
Everywhere you go, people are exclusively human.  We all fail, but we are not failures.  You and those in your life, on your list, are so very worthy of the work of healing, and paramount to healing is being able to look upon the wounded places with clarity and courage.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well. 

7 of 12: A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts

Welcome to the seventh of twelve posts on the original Twelve Steps interpreted anew by author Bill B., whose Compulsive Overeater (1981) came to be written after his personal success with Overeater's Anonymous, a twelve step program fashioned after Alcoholics Anonymous, with Bill W. as co-founder.  I have no affiliation with either organization; and links to these organizations, the book to which I refer can be readily found in the first of this series, 1 of 12:  A Dozen Days of Twelve Step Concepts.  Redundancy precludes further reference in this series; and any additional texts to which I refer will be linked in these later posts.

Step Seven:

"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

Bill B. refers to the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 76, noting, "if humility could enable us to find the grace with banished our greatest obsession, then there must be hope that humility will also help us remove any other problem we could possibly have.  We can banish problems - if we have humility."  This isn't about self-abasement, groveling, or making oneself "less-than," but rather seeing oneself with vision unclouded by self-protective fears and pride.

Humans tend to craft elaborate stories about shortcomings to project blame onto anything or anyone but ourselves.  We protect the ego the the peril of our higher potential.  Others in your life, some past hurt, even a catastrophic event may have initiated patterns of behavior you're now seeking to disrupt and dispel; but those people, that hurt, the moment in time your life felt wrecked for sure - they did nothing to perpetuate the problem.  I'm reminded of the 1974 Smokey Bear campaign slogan, "Only YOU can prevent forest fires."  The proverbial kindling may be abundant in your life, but you're the one who decides if it becomes ashes or if you relinquish the flamethrower so you can heal.

https://images.app.goo.gl/D7vCstQfkVRb9iZo9

Own it, and you have the power to overcome it.  

Feel free to quote me on that.

Bill B. quotes a prayer from the Big Book, and reading it made me see my four decades of devotion to God in an entirely different light.  That phrase stopped me in my tracks, "...You should have all of me, good and bad..."  It is clear to me now, that I want to give God my best, and I ask His forgiveness for my failings; but that's not the same as giving him the "good and bad" with equal eagerness.  I see now that was arrogant and naive, ultimately self-destructive.

If I don't give God the parts of me I see as unlovable, I'm carrying around a big chunk of weight I don't need (1 Peter 5:6-7).  Jesus' sacrifice is for all of us (Romans 5:18-21), for all of me, not just to forgive, but to heal and to bring peace (Isaiah 53).  He is big enough, strong enough, and present enough to do all those things and more when I release my grip on the reigns and ask Him to drive my vessel to higher ground (Ephesians 3:14-21).

Jotting with Johnna:

• If you wrote a letter to God and listed the parts of your life (which can actually never really be separate from the whole) you have given Him, would it include the parts of yourself - your life - you see as "bad?"
• What haven't you handed over and why?
• Do you see God as compassionate and capable enough to want all of you?

Remember:
God wants you so much He gave up everything to win your soul (John 3:16-17); and because of His investment in you, you are so very worthy of His acceptance and covering.  This is not because of anything you could ever do or undo (Ephesians 2:4-10), but in spite of the shortcomings you insist on carrying.  Let them go, and then see what happens.

Stay tuned.  Stay focused.  Stay well.