Scripted Wellness Book Exploration
Stop Stuffing Yourself: 7 Steps to Conquering Overeating
Weight Watchers Publishing Group, 1998; ISBN: 0-02-862759-8
ScriptedWellness is not (yet) affiliated; but you can find it on Amazon via search.
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Disclosure: Your intrepid introducer of these Wellness Scripts is a Lifetime WeightWatchers® Member at Goal. I achieved Lifetime Membership in 2004; and I still attend weekly meetings. It's an important part of my wellness journey because it keeps me accountable and it keeps me aware of the compass needle and whether or not I need to make a course correction. I fully believe in the program, and I've modified it to make it work for me - I've *written my own Wellness Script* by quilting together scraps from various scripts I've collected. You can too.
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Fittingly, this first book review is an oldie but a goodie, published in 1998. Its pearls of wisdom are still sparkly, even if we know a few more things about nutrition than we did twenty years ago. Like old lace, some pieces are worth salvaging.
The text's tenor is that of an advocate, reminding the reader that regardless of the self-incriminating feelings s/he may experience when eating behaviors go awry, there are "countless reasons why people overeat." On the matter of the intended audience, this text was penned at a time prior to the company's more gender-inclusive marketing strategies. While men have always been welcome officially, the literature didn't reflect that stance when this publication hit the shelves. That doesn't make the information less relevant to our more ruggedly handsome members, though; so bear with us here, bearded buddies.
We are driven to dine by all manner of stimuli, sensory, memory, stress, sleep-deprivation, depression, suggestion, tradition, timing, lack of minerals or other actual nutrients [even when we're "stuffed," our bodies can actually be "starved" for nourishment; but that science came along later & we'll discuss that in Hungry for Change]. If you can figure out your particular ways of behaving, and some of the stimuli that trigger those responses, you can choose differently; and you can change as you choose differently more and more often until it becomes less and less awkward. Soon, your new habits become - simply - your habits. Awareness is the beginning.
Enter your first assignment, a quiz and journal combination you'll review at the end of a week to have personalized feedback as to your own trouble zones, times, and even relationships where healthy boundaries may need established. This enlightening self-test can help you navigate the remaining chapters with a problem solving mindset, rather than continuing to troubleshoot (because we have all spent enough time wondering what is "wrong" with us).
The first place the editors look after that evaluation is family, as Erma Bombeck termed it, "the ties that bind...and gag." Seriously though, this is where we learn all the basic stuff, right? Trust, fear, provision, nurturing, self-soothing, who's got your back, what kind of judgment to expect...see how it gets tangled? No wonder folks grab the fridge handle instead of another person's hand: the fridge may shine an accusing light in your face, but it only lasts a moment; while the condemning look of a loved one leaves burn marks on the heart.
We may be pressed to eat to "not waste," or "grow strong," or avoid punishment or gain praise. We learn to "clean" our plate at the table; and it is nearly impossible to unlearn it in adulthood, isn't it? Even as adults, the food-pushing or diet-pushing or belly-bullying persists. But another bit of homework can help you with that too: "Rewrite Your Family Food History" is your next big assignment in the lineup loosening the chains from the overeating baggage. You can see the attitudes, patterns, and personalities present at family functions - including your own, and write your own "plays" before you go "out on the field." You can pen a letter - no sending & don't use email or text because sending *accidentally* is far too easy, besides you don't want that saved & sticking around - explaining your feelings, rehearsing how you need things to happen, whatever...and yeah, destroy it. Maybe you make a list of things you discover you actually need or may find useful; but that letter has gotta go. You can prepare an exit strategy or plan of attack for trigger situations like dessert time (great chance for a walk). The point is to play your own game (nicely) because even if Aunt Mitzi puts cake on your plate, you are an adult who chooses what goes on your fork.
Another segment, "The Care and Feeding of the Self" lines out several ways to nurture well-being of mind and body. Toward building healthy self esteem, they suggest writing a "Want List" comprised of "even those that seem impossible." Once the initial list is created, without self-censorship, then you can line-through those that are likely a bit outside the realm of reason in the near future. As you see the accomplishments and dreams realized, your euphoric and efficacious feelings will empower further efforts!
Those ups and happies are great! But we don't stay on mountaintops. Sad times come too. Loss happens. Sickness happens. Injuries happen. Jobs end. This life has ups and downs; and if that wasn't enough to have you running for tissues, a sizable portion of us have clinical depression, seasonal affective disorder, other mental illness, or monthly bouts of hormonal woes. This book goes "there" too; and it offers yet another helpful section on "Mood Soothing." We could all use a little more sunshine, right?
Speaking of stress: yes, we have it; nope, it's not going anywhere. Well, maybe.
{I've gotta Go Off Script Here. #GOSH}
We can choose differently than we do; but we don't.
We can say "no, thank you;" but we won't.
We often volunteer ourselves to be exhausted for various reasons and I know this because I spent the first four decades of my life (prior to widowhood) in that lifestyle. It is not necessary like I thought it was; nor is it virtuous like I thought it was. I help far more people far more effectively with far more presence and far more meaningful exchange by serving within my giftedness with intention following my intuition than I did by saying "I'll be there" every time I thought anyone I cared about might need or want anything I might be able to provide. I am not the Savior and neither are you - only One of us could be that and He's coming again soon; but He knows who He is already. None of us can help anyone by destroying ourselves; and that's what happens when we don't have healthy Boundaries (that Cloud & Townsend book will be another review to come).
Okay... If you're still here...
{Look: Almost To The End! #LATTE}
...yes, those are my cheesy out-and-in sidebars. Just made 'em. I'm retired Air Force & we like acronyms. Go figure.
Their suggestions for mitigating chronic stress are no surprise: organize, manage time, delegate, and think realistically. These are great strategies, actually; but most of us are so overstimulated, overcommitted, and overwhelmed we see these as more to-do tasks we feel that much worse for being unable to accomplish as the hours in a day seem to flicker out like so many tea lights. The tip sheet for this, however, is less disappointing. Deep breathing is something that has gotten quite a lot of press even now - twenty years later, I'm typing this with my Fitbit Blaze on my wrist which has its own guided breathing relaxation screen! Anytime, anywhere, this is something you can put into action: inhale slowly through your nose, pulling the air down toward your navel, pause a moment, then exhale through your relaxed lips, releasing all the air you can (imagine wringing out a towel or pushing air from a bellows). Do this just a few times and you will notice a difference in how you feel.
Anger can be hazardous to your health in plenty of ways, we're likely all aware; but many of us eat when we feel angry because anger was unacceptable or because we fear conflict or for whatever reason, anger is something we need to suppress or stifle. Food is something we can control when everything around (or within) us feels out of control. Suggestions from the "Anger Manager" segment include seeking solace in solitude for calm, nurturing connection to Source and spiritual inner life, meditation, leisure reading, and finally pursuing a less hurried life.
Loneliness and boredom send many foraging in the pantries or drive through windows in search of what I call EATertainment. In my own case, it's not usually loneliness or boredom - this girl has plenty to do - it's putting things off, what I call procrastinEATing. And in those times (especially the first year of widowhood, after two years of caregiving) of grief, I did some of what I call self-medicEATing with food; but it wasn't so much loneliness then, more like being homesick for a place that no longer existed. So I "get it," why we EATertain, procrastinEAT, and self-medicEAT; and part of the reason I am using this as my first book to extrapolate is to help intervene. It'll take more than this though, for us to compose our individual Wellness Scripts; but it's a beginning.
Speaking of beginnings, at the end of the book, "Changing for Life" is the focus. Implementation of the insights and strategies you develop in the book's quizzes, journal, and exercises brings you to a point of an (elementary) customized playbook. From here, you can cut and paste your way to a tailored Script made for you - no stage makeup required. But it will require a rewiring of sorts when it comes to your food lifestyle lenses.
Think mindset + skillset.
You know what you desire to accomplish and why - make it compelling! You know what to do, or at least you're learning what has not worked for you so far (and that's something). But what can keep you rooted in that solid ground when the winds blow in bagels? Anchoring can do that.
Just as we have triggers to eat, or even overeat; we can create for ourselves triggers that bolster our resolve, fortitude, confidence. It's called anchoring the feeling or positive sensation to a sensory item, an object, a song, a Bible verse, a mantra, a word, a bracelet or pendant, a poem, or whatever works to bring your mind into alignment with your wellness goals and values. It might even be as simple as water.
Here's an example of how it might work:
- Decide how you want to feel (calm, secure, steady, etc.).
- Recall a previous experience of that state of mind, with as many sensory details as you can fully remember.
- Select your anchor (let's say it's a bottle of still, clear water today).
- Think again of the sensations and state of mind you seek to anchor, and touch, smell, say, listen to (or in our example, sip) the anchoring item of your choosing and remind yourself that you are ascribing the meaning of that good, safe, happy feeling to whatever that is.
- Mentally come back into present focus and then try and recreate the experience (it will take practice, feel funny, and even seem silly, but stay with it).
- Whenever thoughts of anxiety, loneliness, boredom, overwhelm, or other such triggering notions come calling, tap into this resource to remind yourself that, while we may not be in control of everything, we always have a choice over something. Choose to tune into that anchored, positive well-being state of mind; and make the best choice you can in the moment.
The prologue goes on to add parting wisdom from Dr. James O. Prochaska, PhD.:
- Review, revise, and remind yourself of your reason and resolve.
- Substitute helpful behaviors for harmful ones, termed "countering."
- Program your environment for success (keep junk outa your trunk).
- Build a tribe of supportive, helpful people (and be resourceful).
- Reward yourself (not with food - you are not a dog) for all victories!
In the end, the best part is that the final page admits there's no "cure" that will finally "fix it all." We all indulge occasionally - sometimes it's significant - but the writers here encourage to get back to it with the next choice you make. Really, isn't that the best anyone can do?
Stay tuned, stay focused, stay well.
#youaresoveryworthy
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